Christmas.....Boring..Lonely..?

Another Boring Christmas, I believe.
I never believe in celebrating festive season so much, since we are going to have it every year and then. And every year is the same to me, especially Chinese New Year, whereby, I can even tell you what I am going to do for the first day, second day and so on. It becomes routine and bored. I need something special that can bring live to me!

Many invitation tonight from different circle of friend of mine, but, I turn all down, by telling them that I plan for a cup of coffee in coffee bean in Sri Hartamas.

I do what I always like to do, sitting around, and observing people around me, to see how they celebrate the similar Christmas again.

I believe they feel much different than me about the festive season, they perceive festive season as something that leave behind good memory, reunion and the list goes on…however, I did feel the same thing before, but, somehow, it faded and wane. I feel myself getting older and older…

Life is meaningless to me if I haven’t got what I dream for; even festive season is tasteless for me! I must say I start to enjoy coffee more than before, and, throughout the drinking process, I tend to ponder a lot, from all walk of life that you put yourself in, realizing that life means so much so other…

Like I mention before, Teenager today do not know the meaning of festive season anymore, and you tend to see them hanging around Bangsar, KL, and so on. Worse still, I am one of them…gosh, but, I like to be that way, sometimes I wonder, why do we need to remember the entire story behind a festive season? Though, you need to know what you are celebrating for, but, if you are not celebrating the season, instead, you are only celebrating the holiday you entitled for, then there’s no need for the story-telling session. That’s what I think it is….

Truth = Motivation = Happiness....

I read a book recently, and learn a great deal about the impact of truth in an organization. The book title, “If Aristotle ran General Motor”.

In the book, the author mentions that the Inner foundation of excellence in every human plays important role, he found out that human being tends to have the tendencies to blame their failure on external circumstance. Though, it might be their mistake! They intend to run away from the truth, to avoid punishment.

Philosopher, Plutarch who served as a priest at the temple of Apollo at Delphi before he become famous in the Roman empire, once said, to make no mistakes is not in the power of man; but from their errors and mistakes the wise and good learn wisdom for the future. Mistake should not stop us from telling the truth, likewise, we should learn from our mistake. Truth is important for an organization to survive; we can only drive our direction if truth is spilled out clearly.

Don Peterson, past president of Ford Motor Company, tells an interesting story. Once when he was visiting a stamping plant in buffalo, New York, a huge bear of man came up to him and said, “You know, I want to tell you one thing. I used to hate coming to work here. But lately I have been asked what I think, and that makes me feel like I am somebody. I never thought the company saw me as human being, now I like coming to work.”

It is important to allow other to tell you what they think is true because it can help in motivation. “Truth is one of the dimensions in work”, said Tom Morris, Chairman for Morris Institute for Human values in Wilmington, North Carolina. We need truth to steer safely through difficulties in future, and we are unlikely to get it unless others are open to sharing it with us. “Too many frontline workers and managers are reluctant to pass on a hard truth to the person they report to, because they are working in a corporate culture where it is not clear what the value of truth is!” he added.

Jack Welch (General Electric), Mike Walsh (Union Pacific Railroad) and Percy Barnevik (Asea Brown Boveri), pointed out to eleven traits that seem responsible for their success, and one of these eleven qualities, they says, is that these individuals appear to have a “visceral affinity for truth”.

Thus, if we do not create an environment where truth is respected, we do not have a working environment in which people are being respected. Any organization that has forgone truth will find it difficult to make a good steering.

Asian FELT Self-Inferior.......??!!!

I can’t understand Malaysian teenagers sometimes who like to put their cars in workshops to make unnecessary modification. Two friends of mine from New Zealand asked me why most cars in Malaysia have had their exhaust pipes modified, even though the cars themselves are old.I find it hard to comprehend too. As far as I am concerned, Asians easily feel inferior and they tend to find ways to fulfill their self-esteem. Even though they can’t afford to purchase their own sport cars with good horse powers, they still feel like having one. So, they modify the exhaust pipes to create the sound of a sports car that attracts attention when cruising down the road. Legally speaking, car modifications are subject to JPJ approval but I believe JPJ does not have any control over car exhaust pipes long as the noise does not disturb others. My friends find this a very funny and interesting occurrence in Malaysia. According to him, New Zealanders don’t modify their cars in such a way; they either purchase a new car that comes along with the modifications or leave the car as it was originally. Human-beings are sometimes difficult to comprehend…...

wHAT A Christmas PRESENT...!

I got a Christmas present last few days ago, and to my surprise, it is a handbook, guiding you how to use your language.

I was perturbed by this friend of my, who, I would say sincerely send this to me, with words from her mouth, saying that, I believe “God” want you to have it.

When you want to give someone something, you need to ensure that it comes from you true heart, instead, of “God”!

Worse still, I receive the book “Mind Your Language”, is that mean I am careless about my language…

Coffee Bean...Star Buck....Gosh...!

I must admit that I am a coffee addict, and hang around either star buck or coffee bean whenever I am free. In fact, it is not just coffee that I am enjoying upon, but, more on serious observation that I can make on those people around me.

I do not know what blow me tonight, but, I did fall into Coffee Bean (Sri Hartamas) now. There is a different between the coffee made in Coffee Bean and Star Buck. Star Buck’s coffee is thicker, and far more bitter without sugar; meanwhile, coffee bean’s coffee is lighter and smoother. It depends, sometimes I prefer star buck if I need something really strong to put me awake, looking and digging hard for inspiration.

There is a different between the people that hang around star buck and coffee bean too. Star buck fleas used to be teenagers that tend to be out-going, meanwhile, coffee bean fleas used to be more mature, as I notice!

There is a group of people sitting in front of me just now, and shifted outside. Perhaps they realize that they make so much noise, if that is the case, I really wish to tell them, I am okay with that. What I find bizarre is, they sit right besides me, separated by the glass. Worse still, I can see they have a huge hand, body gesture while talking, showing their hand up and down, and laugh! But I can’t hear, and that is certainly distracting me a lot while writing…

I realize that it is important for us to spill out our thought, or, thing will become unexpected! Hmm….

Feeling Guilty for Dumping your EX..and PAYback.?!!!

Having a little chat with my friends at “The Black Canyon Restaurant” (Jaya Jusco, Taman Maluri) during lunch time, she told me her experience for being dump by her ex-boyfriends sometimes ago. “I think I believe in pay back, I would say, it is Karma”, she said jokingly.

And later she went on explaining her story to us, she said she dumped her previous boyfriend for her ex-boyfriend, and probably because of that, she was dumped by her ex-boyfriend. And that now, she learns a great deal from this lesson.

Meanwhile, I have no comment if you feel it that way too. However, I always believe, there is no right or wrong in relationship. When you find yourself having problem with your partner, you either rectify it, or worse, break up will be the last resort. I do not deny that, human being like to compare from one to another, and worse, they always look for a better one, this is the naturalistic human behaviors.

If you have found someone you like, and are better than your current boyfriend, I can swear to you that you need to grab it before it slip out of your hands. It is hard to meet someone that you love so much. However, what you need to remember is, when you term it as “better than”, it must be in the form of character, similar interest or something that should come from inside of him instead of materialistically sound “better than”. This is to make sure you will not regret for giving up the previous one…

Thus, please do not feel guilty if you have to choose break up as the last resort! Good luck in your relationship………

Career..or...relationship..Really HONEST...!!??

You need to be totally honest in answering this question and putting yourself in the scenario. Let us assume that you are into a secure and stable relationship now, and you are totally in love. Also, you are a person that very much cares about your career. And now that your company is expanding, and you are asked to transfer to oversea for 5 years, your company requires you to sign a contract that will bond you for 5 years, as stated that you are not allow to get committed within this 5 years.

Meanwhile, you have been with your girlfriend for more than 5 years and that you believe nothing can break you apart. And, your girlfriend has been hinting on tying the knots. You have her in your dream, your future planning and even more. You know she will be your wife, from now and then; no one else can replace her.

Knowing that you have to make a decision, both either signing the stupid contract, get hook up for 5 years, and looking forward for your career advancement and earn a high salary, OR forget about your overseas posting and stay with your girlfriend. Assuming your girlfriend, can not go with you due to family and work commitment. Which one will you choose... if you asked me, frankly speaking, I will go with my career… I am sorry honey…

A lunch…a chat…now...a friend…!

Yes, finally, we are out for lunch in One Utama!

I message her the night after the “net chat”, I do not deny that she is a totally a net addict because she online most of the time, that is what I assume! She told me she slept at 5 am that night. She messages me at 9 am next morning, telling me that she has an artificial leg and had a bad accident before! I ponder for a while, though, it do not strike me.

Very often, I must admit, man tends to be more concern about a woman physical outlook; thus, you can expect them to give much excuse if they receive the message as I do. Meanwhile, I can feel my sanity, still; and my purifying souls are not shocked with that message! I replied, “What is it going to do with our lunch?”

I hate discrimination, and perhaps I stand firm on my principle? I have been organizing many charity projects, and have met-up with many physically-challenged persons very often. It may have shaped my thought and character over the years. I must applaud their perseverance and determination in heir life, has brought them the spirit of independent! They have never given up their life easily, and they still dare to dream!

Though, I am neither holy person nor sacred, but I do place much emphasize on the character of those I met. For those who walk like a princess, will look like one, for those who walk like a hypocrite, then a hypocrite he/she will be. How we physically act, perform, either subconsciously, will reflect inside of us to those we met. That explains why first impression needs to be perfectly created! But, I am careless about first impression though! He….! What I am trying to say is, physically outlook is not a matter, but how you behave is the most vital, since it reflects the inside of you………………

"A Typical Gemini"...Meeting up Internet Princess..so far..?!

It must be fate that brought us up today; I met up with a typical Gemini on the net today. I would say, I got to know her on the net a few days back. What caught my attention is that, she is a Gemini too. And I would name her as “Typical Gemini”.

Initially, I believe every human being is different in term of their thinking and perhaps the way of expression. However, after a few chat with "typical Gemini", I came to confirm the similarity of "Gemini". A Gemini tends to be more skeptical about relationship, though; age, material and many things in life are not a measurement for relationship for "Gemini".

Regardless of how people deem “Gemini” as playful in relationship; I would say they are terribly wrong! “Gemini” is the most loyal partner in relationship. They are perceived as playful, because they always have a smile on their face and tend to have a lot of friends. “Gemini” tends to care about other’s feeling, even though they are terribly sad but they never put their feeling up-front, since they do not want other to feel the same way. As a “Gemini” myself, I know how I feel as a “Gemini”……

Meanwhile, I, as a “Gemini”, found myself greatly obsessed with this “Typical Gemini”, probably because of her open character and her mature thought that allow us to have a smooth chat over the net. And, eventually, we both exchange number. I do not deny that I do wish to dream for a better understanding of “Typical Gemini”, but the brutal fact is, what you dream will never come true, thus, I would better leave it to the fate. Should I do so…I wonder…?

Welcome to Year 2005...!

The beginning of next Year marks the start of our auspicious year. I wish that this New Year brings more fun and a better day to come. However, talking about New Year, it reminds me about Christmas. Usually, Christmas is a special day where all family reunion and din together. Strange is, most of Malaysian teenager, do not seem to understand the meaning of Christmas, and if you happen to pass by “ Bangsar” or any other famous clubbing zone, you tend to find out our future country backbone hanging around at those club, getting drunk most of the time! I certainly have no comment to that all since I am a clubbing flea too. But, it is advised to hit at the right time, some people out there, hanging in the club 24 hours day and 7 days a week, non-stop! I wish you all good luck for that. I do hope that you would rather enjoy your special season with your family, only that, you experience that trueness of the particular occasion.

What the Heck..Send your Secretary for MBA..or YOU..?

I had a conversation with one of the MBA students who was then decided to make a come back, to continue his study after years of working. Confidently, he told me he is 40 years old this year, and decided to study again for the sake of his future. I am impressed that his willingness to study, most importantly, he has a direction in life. Very often, I met up with MBA students who seem to take their life easy. And, worse still, the “last-minute culture” not just prevails among undergraduate students; I have seen MBA students whining in front of the lecturer, begging for an extension of date for their assignment! MBA is supposed to be an adult learning program, which require to study and ponder like an adult (which you already are!). Self-conscious and time management are very important because you can not expect lecturer to spoon-feed you anymore, not at the age of 40! You will find it the world most ridiculous joke if I were to tell you that a managing director even send his secretary to attend the MBA class, to help taking note! However, the policy did not clearly spill out that students can not send representatives to take note though; perhaps university might need to take this into consideration. The lesson today is, never practice “last-minute-culture” and adopts spoon-feeding style in your learning process because it will bring you nothing, but only manifest your inability to manage your life properly.

Women's Liberation..?..Its a Revolution..!

An article in the ‘Comment’ section in The Star Newspaper relates the idea of woman’s liberation in Singapore which emerges as a national crisis with more than 300,000 white-collar workers in Singapore who can’t find wives!

They blame this on the fast emergence of educated women. Undoubtedly, female undergraduates have outnumbered males and also matched or outperformed them in many professions as part of on-going global trends. This trend is growing in Malaysia too, but will the similar problem occur in our country for years to come?

The writer contended that Singaporean men are convinced that foreigners make better wives because they are perceived as more domesticated, less arrogant and materialistic. This has led to the increasing number of Vietnam women being married to Singaporeans. Match making agencies arrange these marriages with a certain fee and Singaporean men are willing to pay for it. Many considered this arrangement as a ‘trading’ instead of an actual marriage! However, this leads to the doubt of whether the relationship can actually survive for a long time since the marriage is arranged on money terms instead of fondness between two parties.

Some men attribute this problem to the increasing demands of women. Very often we hear about Singaporean women that demand for the 5Cs – Condo, Car, Credit Card, Country Club and Cash. This has, in fact, prevented

Marriages should not be based solely on materialistic interests. History tells us that pre-arranged marriages are not always happy. Parents arrange the marriages of their children before the children make their decision to keep the wealth ‘within the clans’; and what’s worse, the rich only marry the rich or richer and the poor only to the poor. Many question the intimacy of husbands and wives in pre-arranged marriages. They claim that this ignores the fundamentals of understanding in a relationship.

One of the Singaporean men is quoted in the article as saying, “Some Singaporean females are simply arrogant, especially those with high education levels. They always think that Singaporean men are good for nothing while they themselves are perfect.” Others complain that many women in Singapore don’t know how to cook or do household chores and have become too dependent on maids since they were young. Some Singaporean men even perceived Singaporean women as being highly materialistic. Shopping is considered a major hobby and looking good is absolutely essential. The man is but another accessory, a helper, chauffeur or bag carrier.

Meanwhile, one Singaporean women commented that she wished to see more ‘backbone’ in men. She did not care about the man’s earning power. Rather, she was more concerned with him being able to show the attributes of a ‘true man’, and not some whining screw-driver. They tell themselves that they are not going to be one of those docile wives who nod their heads and cook for men at the slightest command; and claimed to be the women of the new age!

Highly educated women have demands; so do highly educated men. High earning men do not want to be tied down with commitment of families or
relationships; instead they look for freedom. This explains why there is a
high number of unmarried men in Singapore too! The argument put forward ignores the value of a real relationship.

A relationship is supposed to be aesthetic in nature, not materialistic. Men who fall in love must be able to accept every aspect of his beloved, so must women. Women who cannot cook don’t necessarily make bad wives. As for women who treat men purely as another accessory, chauffeur or bag carrier, they have forgotten the theory of love as the basis of bringing better, long-lasting and romantic relationships.

For women who make docile wives and cook for men without whining, living in today’s modern society can revolutionize their way of thinking. Subsequently, a fundamental question that arises for men to ponder on is: would you divorce your wife if she does not cook for you and whined about all the household chores to you? Relationships are a give and take process and one cannot categorize relationships as material goods upon which you select your choice of quality!

The writer has complimented Singaporean women for being highly educated and outperforming men in many areas, but at the cost of not being highly valued as wives. They proudly present it as women’s liberation; I would rather name it a revolutionizing or transforming of relationships from the heartfelt to a more material base.

Power Struggling ar....

In the past, human beings seldom or never married for love. Those who marry for love was considered foolish, because everyone knew love did not last. Thus, power struggles did not exist from the past. Similarly, history shows that romantic relationships never lead to marriage. And, usually, marriages were pre-arranged to keep wealth secure within the clans.

All relationship passed through three stages; the romantic love stage, the power struggling stage and ultimately the real love stage. Most couples never get through the power struggle stage. Many have wondered if power struggling is good. However, you realize that power struggling is one of the stages in relationships that need to exist in order to find true love. Many couples do not survive the stages and break up.

The attraction of romance bonds the partners together. Both parties are afraid of being rejected or being abandoned by the other. Thus, power struggling comes into play. Power struggles will appear in every committed relationship. It is your choice to leave your relationship or cope with it so that you can overcome it. ...

Women and Men...

While enjoying my cup of coffee in Starbuck, I overheard an argument of a couple on the equalities of men and women. The lady flipped through a magazine, with an article on equalities that spark off their argument. I pick it up later and read through it. The MXM magazine printed an article that sardonically written about equalities between men and women, certainly in favor of men!

The article argued that, if you put a woman on a pedestal and worship her, you are then a male chauvinist. Meanwhile, if you work hard, you will never have any time for her, but if you don’t work hard, she deems you as a good-for-nothing-bum! If you get a promotion ahead of her, she will call this favoritism. But if she gets ahead of you, it is equal opportunity. If you mention how nice she looks, you will probably being sued for sexual harassment, but if you keep quiet, she will sarcastically blame you for male indifference.

You must not cry in front of her because if you cry, you will be a wimp, if you don’t, you are insensitive! You are a chauvinist if you make decision without consulting her, but if she makes decision without consulting you, she is a liberated woman. Also, do not deny that man appreciate woman but if you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you are a pervert, and if you don’t, you are a gay!

Man likes sport for many reasons, but do not tell her that you intend to shape your body, because she probably said you are vain, but if you don’t, she calls you a slob. If you buy her flower, you are after something, if you don’t, you are not thoughtful. Lastly, I would say that makes woman sound difficult to please, though!

Really a JOKE of the day...!

I came across a joke the other day and thought of sharing with you. Two engineering students, Student A and Student B, were walking across campus. A notices B has just bought a new bike and A asks, “Where did you get such a great bike?” B replies, “Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, and took off all her clothes and said, “Take what you want.” Student A nodded approvingly, “Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”

Pseudonym or Pusillanimity...~?

Recently, a letter in the newspaper commented on some writers prefer to remain anonymous, obviously, remind me about those that i have interviewed, who do not like to be quoted. Very often when some people are being asked about their opinion, they tend to shy-away, although they might have given their opinion but refuse to be quoted.

The letter commented that, if what you write what you wanted to tell, then you must stand to your ground and do not need to use pseudonym or nom de plumes. Writer must not have fear or worry but only to be proud of what you write! The letter questions some writer, for being publicity-shy or just pusillanimity! We must have the gut to tell or write what we want to converse, without shunning away from readers. It is much gratification that readers willing to read your thought in writing thus shall they respect you of what you are trying to relate.

Similarly, when you were asked for comment, once you converse your very own thought, then you must proud of yourself for being brave and outspoken. There is no need for pseudonym or being anonymous....But...after much contemplation.. i still prefer to remain the same way as i do....

Stop being Skeptical...!

Ironically, we find it difficult to comprehend, that business found by Chinese community very hard to maintain. A proverb said, “Family Wealth does not pass through more than three generation.” Many have wondered if this is superstitious.

Judging at the western business, for which we can see company that last over a century and still survive. Some blame it on the flaw of Chinese management style, or perhaps behavior that unable to keep business growing and maintain. They said, Chinese are more family oriented, and thus, you tend to see many family members in family business, and a person capability is ignored.

Where else, in western, promotion, increment, recruitment is based on merit and performance. They are careless about who you are but what you can perform.

Recently, I read an article commenting how skeptical our communities are. We tend to be very suspicious in life.

For those who used to work as a researcher before will find Chinese community very difficult to approach. They tend to shun away, worrying that you posses some funny intention, and they are not willing to even question.

Alexander The Great...

The movie ‘Alexander’ has given us much to think about in terms of what a leader should be. Alexander was a warrior king with ambition and courage who led his outnumbered army against the massive Persian armies and won the battle with glory.

What can we learn from Alexander is his great vision and his strong aspirations that drove him to achieve his dreams. His perseverance was a result of his dream to win approval from his oppressive father, conflicted by his mother’s legacy.

He was one of the great conquerors that was never afraid of death but it was only loss that disheartened him. He would have rather died than lose a battle. His spirit contributed a lot to his victories in warfare. This teaches us the value of setting goals in life and relentlessly working toward our goals. Here, we would rather sacrifice our leisure activities than lose our goals. Our lecturers, parents and others we learn from may have taught us this. Similarly, Aristotle, who has done teachings on Alexander transformed him into a military genius that was greatly admired by his troops for his leadership and courage. The problem-solving process in life will eventually shape you into a better person.
Throughout our learning process either in the university or office, we never stop pursuing knowledge. It is your character that will greatly determine your success and what you are willing to compromise.

What can we learn from HIM...

I believe many of us have heard of James Wong. He was one of the most well-known Hong Kong composers that only recently passed away. James was a literatus, well-versed in writing lyrics and composing.

Even though he was diagnosed with cancer, he never gave up laughing. He got his doctorate from Hong Kong University at the age of 64, concomitant with his disease. James said, “The human learning process is never ending. Even if I can live till 70, I will never regret my life.” Before his demise, his wish was to complete his doctorate from Hong Kong University, and he did it.

His contribution to the Hong Kong music industry has, in fact, earned him great fame. James was a man of many personalities, known to be versatile in many areas. He acts, sings, composes and is willing to play any role in a movie from a security guard to toilet cleaner.

One of his significant traits is that he liked to speak dirty. He spoke obnoxiously, vulgarly and licentiously! Yet, he still received applause and laughs from the audience, without anyone getting offended (even though he shouted at them sometimes!). He also went without literary criticism! People say that only a highly literate person is able to talk in such a way without hurting the feelings of others!

And, you must have thought, not many TV hosts are able to do this. He earned his “certificate” of his own traits from his fans. If other TV hosts were to converse in the way that he has, they are bound to receive a lot of complaints and criticism. This has, in fact, made him different from others.

When we ponder upon his many personalities, our curiosity is triggered. Why is this so? Not many or any of us are able to imitate him, but remember, his persistency in acquiring and pursuing knowledge in the learning process has readily spurred our thoughts and has certainly given us a thing or two to think about!

The Beauty and The Beast...!

Sometime back, I watched ‘Beauty and the Beast’ with a friend of mine. It led to the argument of whether this situation could happen in real life! Although it might seem unlikely, there are always special cases to take into consideration. There are occasions when we come across good-looking people with not-so-good-looking ones or the rich with the poor (it happens sometimes, and probably even more so in movies). Anyway, we believe that God put in equal time into creating each of us don’t we? But that he gave us all different physical attributes and capabilities. Even though we tend to strive for perfection, we often realize it is impossible in the true sense of the word. My friend argued that he saw a gorgeous lady with sweet personality but married to someone not attractive at all. I told him my personal view on this matter and that is, sometimes beautiful girls don’t trust good-looking guys because they believe good-looking guys are never loyal. Good-looking girls may also have the similar perception of guys. Of course, this leads to the inevitable question of how one defines nice, sweet or gorgeous. The definitions are relative depending on the characteristics that one is looking for in another.