Skepticalllll...

I am skeptical about relationship now and then, and I keep telling girl that I am not what they are looking, and that I am not a dream guy. What happen to me? I wonder, I have never been so lame. I still remember my first love during my secondary school. I was advice and encouraged going after whatever that I feel right and LIKE. And from there, I brushed up my confidence, after seven different relationships with girls at a different time (need to make it clear!) (and yes, since form one, till three and half years ago), I started to feel tired of relationship, some of my pals even picking on me as becoming gays, just to force me going! Well, I don’t know what has happen to me, I am just afraid of losing out, and I don’t mind if you want to call me pussy or what so ever, but I am really tired of all that, perhaps, I need some more time to get myself back to the rail!

Healthy.....LIFESTYLE...

I always believe in adopting a healthy lifestyle, though, I smoke sometimes for certain reason (entertainment) (I do whatever people do, as long as it is not illegal! I call this adaptive). Talking about cigarette, I do not condemn smoker but to advise them to smoke less. As for me, I have insisted myself to give it up two months ago, and yes, I did, but occasionally, I still smoke as in “occasionally”.

Sometimes, I just can not stop smoking totally, not because of the “virus” in me, but of other people, half of my friends smoking, although, I seldom hang around with them, but whenever we go out clubbing or hang around in Star buck, I have to make myself smoke again. Certainly, Not because I afraid of being their laughter, but I do not want them to feel bad, What would you feel if you are doing something that your friends do not like or not enjoying to do so! If you care about your friends very much, you will probably give it out. However, it is very difficult from my part to expect so; I rather join them since I do not do it all the time. And certainly, they will ask me out again in future, because they feel my existence in their group.

OutLOOK...

I do not know why, but, to find myself quite concern about my outlook, and to give a perfect first impression to those I meet. I have always been into sport, to get myself sweat. This is the only way to keep myself active and in shape. And, I always believe that, to succeed in any field of your expertise, it is not just about your knowledge that counts, but also your health. You need to be healthy in order to strive better.

WhAT's WRONG with my LIFE...

I was so blur! Perhaps, my life has been too hectic. A week ago, I went to a mini market around my residential area, intended to buy a bottle of body shampoo. I looked around and picked up a brand, with hurry; I paid at the counter and went back. What happen next is, I found out in my bathroom that it is a “liquid hands wash”! (Fortunately, I realize right away, at least, not after a week of using!) Can somebody tell me what is going on in my life?

That is not the end of the story, I went to a Chinese herb shop today, intends to buy a bottle of hair shampoo, and so happen that I pick a brand. I thought that is the brand that I am looking for, and I paid at the counter without much thought. I arrived home and planned to take a nice bath after the long working day, and “gosh!” I thought the shampoo is actually out-dated because it produces no foam,I thought I miss-bought “liquid hand-wash” again, but, fortune enough, I get it quite correct this time, I BOUGHT A CONDITIONER INSTEAD OF HAIR SHAMPOO! (At least, it means for hair!) And again, can somebody tell me what is going on with my life! I can not even get it right, between body shampoo and liquid hand-wash, and which one is hair shampoo or hair conditioner! I think I need therapy!

WhaT a MaN...

I had a rehearsal in Eastin Hotel, Damansara in the afternoon; it is about an event with disabled person. Meanwhile, I bump into a business man at his forties, I assume, talking in his phone. “Hello, I am Mr.XX, calling from Kota Baharu”, he said softly. Perhaps, the phone operator can not comprehend his language and asked again, the business man then shouted in the phone, “I am calling from “Kota Bharu”!” As you can see, we are obviously in Damansara, Petaling Jaya. I bet he is drunk!

PERsonality TEst...

I had supper with my colleague and a friend on mine at Steven’s corner tonight, we were chatting, and brought up the topic about personality test and so far. She related her experience in her club in University that her superior likes to use questioning during interview to gauge personality of the interviewee. We had a little argument over the topic. As far as my own concern, I do not believe in personality test, though, sometimes it proved to be quite accurate, relating my personality. Yes, I did personality test before, and the result does not please me. I would say, human-being like to blame external factor when committed mistake.

It reminds me about psychometric test, adopted by some company to test the interviewee’s personality before he/she actually recruited. I do not condemn personality test, but, I believe company should have a set of written personality specification. For example, company will not employ staff that are dishonest, crafty or politician.

The reason of Psychometric test is to match the right people with right job, nevertheless, it has it flaw though. If psychometric test is widely implemented, employee is unable to change their field of expertise, if by chance, they would like to learn or experience new field! If I am in P.R for years, and would like to work under Sales, I might not be recruited anyway.

It kills the leaning process, and what’s more, it inflicts human-right! We lost our privacy. How on earth we allow other to know our personality!

Our conversation carries on until she told me about my personality as best describe as “Sanguinian”. You may wonder what Sanguinian is. If you flip through dictionary, you will find Sangunian means a person with striking personality, best equip with out-spoken and extrovert character, at which I believe I hate the most! (And yes, apparently, I realize that I actually hate myself!) It moulds me into someone that I do not want to be, and I feel faked (as I always do!).

Internet Plafform..stupid ler...

Perhaps, I was not properly understood by some of my friends, or those who has just known me. I always embrace the attitude of knowing more friends, even in my daily life meet-up or internet chatting without much intention. I always believe every human being look alike. Sometime I was being misunderstood as those Internet freak or jerk that goes around hunting for food, and keep inviting internet friend for an outing!

Well, I only ask my friend out for coffee because I like coffee, and I always go for a cup of coffee alone with my “baby” – Laptop. I do not mind if anyone can join me and have a nice chat! Unfortunately, they would perceive me as those “brain-dead” net friends that mean for nothing!

Anyhow, Many of those internet friend do not like to meet up with people due to the following reason; they are too shy to talk (I really condemn that as I wonder how on earth are they going to work for the society if you feel shy to talk!), secondly, they only want to cling to their group of friend and do not bother of knowing more (that is very stupid to confine yourself, I always ask myself, if I can hit 100, why should I go for 80!If I was given chance to know somebody, why should I confine myself then, regardless of how she/he look like, as long as he / she behave well!)

Seed and Human....!!!

Relationship is supposed to be unique, passion and aesthetic! Once I remember, from an elder friend of mine. He conscientiously link relationship to “seed” that practically help us to understand the fundamental behavior of male and female toward preliminary stage of relationship.

“Male and Female like to scatter the “seed of passion” around, and they will wait for the seed to grow, eventually, they will choose the best out of it. I do not deny that selfishness does constitute part of human behavior.” He said.

I would believe he is right in some point, and I would like to further emphasize that as long as we have our own principle, ensure that human emotion is not a victim of our action in relationship, and it, still alright.

Almost Get KILLed..!

Gas leaking can kill! I was lucky to wake up early today. When I walk down the ground floor, and found my stupid cooking gas leaking, with the gas already filled up the whole house. I rush open all the doors and windows to have the air circulated, and clean it out. I wouldn’t be here, if I did not wake up that early. That remind me about Tsunami whereby it struck without any indication!

Acquiantance....!!!!

Hanging out with friends is always a pleasure in life. I struck up an acquaintance with Kitty, and at the same time, met-up with Geraline that I haven’t seen for more than 3 months. Also, do not forget about my pal, Sim – de blusher (He’s going to kill me if he realizes I gave him such an astounding and sensational nick!). I must say, I enjoy that night more than ever.

Upon arriving home, I ponder, is relationship so important to human-being? I can not possibly find the answer even with my head cracking. Relationship somehow has to do with “Love”, and Love has to do with “like”, and eventually it has to do with “friendship”. I would call this as “relationship stages” that you need to go through, something like the level of education you went through since kindergarten!

My Philosophy..Strength..weakNESS...

Personal Philosophy

-Hard-working

I believe in hard- work and work as smart as you are able to. When you are able to sacrifice your time for something; eventually, you will receive recognition from what you have sacrifice, and finally lead to wealth. Wealth can come in the form of increment, promotion and etc.

- My Strength

-Self disciplined decision maker

-Dedicated employee

-People oriented

-Outstanding leadership qualities

-Extrovert & Gregarious

-Excellent Communication Skill

-Ability to Work under Pressure

-Sense of commitment & responsibility

-Ability to Work with Minimum Supervision

-High Adaptability to working environment

Weaknesses

-Highly Ambitious

Sometimes, it may not be good to be ambitious. I always like to set myself a target that difficult to achieve because only then I believe, I have to push myself to the limit. Sarcastically, I always fail to achieve what I set but at least, I hit the second grade, still! I will get low for a few days, and evaluate my mistake, and find out the reason why I can not achieve my “dream” target.

-Stubborn

Whenever I suggest a good idea, I tend to stick to it unless I was convinced that my idea isn’t good enough. Very often, management will just kill off my idea without proper explanation. I get frustrated very easily.

-Soft-Hearted

When I was required to be assertive, I tend to be soft-hearted because I always take into account other’s feeling. However, I am improving on my leadership skill from time to time, and keep reminding myself that I need to be assertive to get thing done in time.

-Strongly dislike protocol and red tap in organization that ruin efficiency

I do not prefer protocols to be set tight but I have to I will follow with much dislike. I always try to fight against protocols that kill off the efficiency of employee. I like thing to be done fast, and I want to see everything run smoothly without any delay. And, very often, protocols lead to delay, especially in P.R lines.

-Impulsive

I tend to be impulsive especially when I was blame for thing that I did not do. I have tried to always remind myself to calm down. Thus, I believe I can change my weakness into strength.

-Easily de-motivated

I can take advice from other, some usually advise come with criticism. Thus, I tend to get de-motivated easily. I am a person with high-self-consciousness. Thus, if I happen to be de-motivated, I will need one or two day to retrospect, and improve myself. I believe this is my weaknesses because it affect my passion in what I am doing, thus I need to remind myself all the time, that I can not be influenced by what other had said.

Finally..my PERSONAL Objectives....

Money-In our world, money is a must. The amount of money that you need depends on what you want and how much you believe you are worth. I see money as a tool that enables me to function freely within my world and accomplish my dream – and I have some pretty big dreams! So I want enough money to make me financially free.Undoubtedly, money can not buy or guarantee me happiness. I also know that not having money doesn’t guarantee me happiness either! Thus, I do what I love to do and because I believe it’s of value to others. If what we do is of value, then we can expect and accept abundance in return.

Creativity- I love bringing things into existence that weren’t there before. Creativity is my key to personal growth and empowering others. It’s my vehicle of self-expression, of putting who I am and what I do out into the world.

Acknowledgement-I believe in working hard, and getting what we deserve to receive. I fight for acknowledgement from my superior, friends and others.

Integrity and trust- Integrity, loyalty, friendships come under the heading of trust for me. I want to trust people because I want people to trust me. I only want to be in relationships where everyone is trusting of each other.

Contribution- I believe in making contribution for who I work for, without making contribution, you will never receive appreciation from others. And, contribution is a measurement of how much I worth for.

Dare to dream- we must be dare to dream because only dream can drive human toward making great achievement!

Catching Up...!

I was quite happy today, at least, I am able to meet up with my classmates in Sri Hartamas and have a nice chat. They just came back from United Kingdom, graduating with a degree in accounting and now pursuing ACCA. I am always proud to have friends that can be so clear about their direction in life, and I like to be with them, at least, it gives me some “push” in doing what I want to do!

We all have the same perception that life is a learning process, and that we should not stop learning, one day if you find yourself losing interest in what you do, I would say, it is time for you to retire from your job!

Once I watch a movie, featuring a lawyer giving lecture to the practitioners. I can remember neither the movie title nor the actor, but I can still remember vividly what he had said. “One day when you wake up in the morning, and look at the mirror, if you find your job super-bored, I would advise you to retire, because you are not a lawyer anymore!” he said to those practitioners. You need to love what you do, only then you find your job challenging, and it is a long-lasting one.

Student LIFE Again...!

Finally, I went back to my study life again after two weeks of holiday! I find waves of pressure, like water pouring down from my head to toe!

I was being characterize as “Smart” by some of my classmate because of de-stress and out-spoken outlook, but, truthfully, I feel stressful inside of me.

Perhaps, I am PR that born to make people happy. I wish I can be someone that able to act according to feeling and emotion. Sometimes, I feel myself too fake to be myself!

Or perhaps I have wont to make people happy, and find it difficult to adjust now.

Just LIKE Superman someTimes...

You tend to see Hero or Heroes only when you have problem, and you tend to see well-wishers only when there is a disaster?

Undoubtedly, there are many people who need help, such as those orphanages, old folk’s homes and many more, who run without public support. Their life can be better if we are willing to contribute, but, many do not see the importance in it. When human-being are approached for donation, they tend to shun away. Meanwhile, When Tsunami struck, you tend to see them donate thousand of dollar for the victim. I do not mean to be causticity, but it is a fact that worth our observation. Those who never even want to care about the needy around them tend to donate thousand of dollar and appear in newspaper!

If it is for the sake of publicity, I would rather feel ashamed for them because their donation just not out of sincerity. However, there are those who donate out of sympathy deserve our recognition and respect. Hopefully, in future, they would also show their concern to those needy around them.

Meanwhile, I find it even more sarcastic, when the rich is willing to spend their fortune for a huge mansion and sport car but not even willing to contribute a cent of two for the needy. I wonder why human characters are shape in such way…

Fell DOWN the Staircase...Embarassing..!!

I was walking in the walkway in my office, and waved to one of my students, without realizing that there is a “Spiral Staircase” in from of me. I tripped over and fell down, Luckily, I can still stand up, I wonder what would happen if I “ROLL” down!

I feel so embarrassing, but then, “so what!” everyone experiences fall down before, why I should bother so much! (Apparently, I was trying to comfort myself though! I was waving to a student that kind of caught my attention, you know!..gosh...)

I still feel the pain down my knee…..

First Lunch...Late DINNER..2005...

After I had my very first lunch for year 2005, I left rushing for another appointment with a friend of mine in Sungai Wang, we had dinner and window shopping in Sungai Wang until we came across a photo machine, and that, you have to pay a little as 24 buck for a few snaps. I was pulled in by her youthful and joyful gesture.

In fact, she is a cute little girl that always believes she’s an old lady now, believe it or not, she isn’t old! I like her a lot, but sometimes I couldn’t figure out though, what’s in her mind (How much I wish to understand!).

We went down to basement together, and there was a group of Rascal I would presume, came in together with us and they were fooling around in the elevator, with us standing at another side of the corner in the elevator. I was beset with worry that she might be hurt or flirted, that I move a step forward with my back a bit slanted against them, at least, block the stupid scene of those guy fooling around!

An uncommon, unusual, soft of feeling surging inside of me, I wonder, why am I feel so worry, perhaps, she is too vulnerable……

CIVICism..02...

Another escapade I came across today, I’ve done with my jogging, and on my way back. There was a motor bike; cruising fast enough to challenge the angel of death, threw a pack of rubbish to the road side. Basically, the area where the package landed was not a rubbish dump! It was just another pedestrian walk-way! That guy was lucky, if he was trying to throw to my side of lane, I will certain pull him down from the bike, and kicked his ass!

A little DIFFerent...

A little different today in Jaya Jusco Starbuck, though, without wire5 connection here, it does create some different, because I can’t do my internet surfing as usual!

I am here again, to meet up with another internet friend, who happens to be a Gemini! I wonder sometimes, why am I am obsessed with Gemini; probably I am a Gemini who wishes to meet someone that share the similar interest as I do!

However, the brutal fact does reveal that Gemini sometimes does not share the similar nature, but, there’s the least similarity, is that they tend to be very friendly. I find Gemini as I do, appear to be amiable!

I never believe in horoscope, since, nether statistical observation nor proven record to relate the accuracy of horoscope in our daily life!

But, I do believe that the ubiquitous of Horoscope, and the prevalent and domination of Horoscope belief seems to be part of our life now, thus, it is harmless to read a little of two about Horoscope, as the enlightenment in our life.

Like or LOVE....

I wonder why couple usually confuse between “loves” and “Like”, if you believe love is a black magic, then you should be more careful next time before you click with anyone you like, instead, you should choose those you really love, not like! If you do not believe in black magic, then it is time for you to believe in it! You can like anything but you can not love more than a thing because love is supposed to be very passionate and aesthetic.

Very often, we tend to be carried away by our emotion at the moment, and make a wrong decision, and later we tend to confuse if we love him/her. What is worse, when you tend to regret breaking up with your previous boyfriend / girlfriend!

This has been a norm in urban relationship, though, we can not figure out why is it happening here and then, without any solution to the problem. Is love a black magic? And, you tend to regret after you wake-up / being released from the black magic? Lastly, is it too late for couple to say no? The thought goes on……