Relationships always start with opportunity to develop a profound understanding between each others, and in the process, many factors have become significant. One leads to another, all others factors are interlink to become a chain that beholds the relationship; the strength of the chain relies on the depth of understanding between the parties.
‘Expectation’ is hardly as explained in any dictionary; it is not as simple when it is laid in a relationship. The role of expectation is multifold, it can deepen understanding; or it could also be the main cause of conflict. Expectation management is dilemmatic if understanding is insufficient, therewith, neither parties are willing to give-in, and eventually, nothing has been agreed upon. We speak of win-win situation under business context, or ‘no business’; similarly, we speak of win -win situation in relationship where both parties impartially & fairly laid expectation on both with consensus, or ‘ no relationship’. Sometimes, it is difficult to reach win-win situation when one party exerts greater dominant than the others, then compromise becomes crucial, but if, both party insist on their way and do not compromise, that relationship will not work anymore. If one party is ready to compromise, then the ‘compromise’ must make clear & understood by the other party; the least, he/she knows you sacrifice for the relationship & be grateful & appreciate it; also, serving as a reminder to compromiser, ‘serve what you’ve agreed upon with honest & sincerity, faith shall arrive last when sacrifice is slowly seen, fail which conflict arises’.
Perception is an issue when both have a different point of view toward current relationship style. A playboy can lead a promiscuous life style, and continue doing it even with much criticism; this is because they do not see it as a problem. When either party does not see a problem as perceived by another party, the one who perceived the problem is simply self-torturing. Perception is highly related to ones experience in relationship, as such, form a strong belief of what they perceive is right for them. Taking distant relationship as an example, those who believes in it, possibly are those who has an experience & it works, or someone who has ever-blazing faith to believe it may work. ‘The Past shall form a shadow to presence & the future, following you whenever you go, till the dusk, till you manage to drop it behind’. If the present is haunted by the past, it is most likely will form your path towards your future relationship too. To get out of this rut, you need to use your sincerity to influence his/her circle of concern, so that he/she realizes the importance of change.
Faith is a pillar of relationship; it forms yours thought before you see the whole pictures, and leading you into it. Faith will tell you the positive direction, while, shattered faith will direct you to another unfavorable route. Without faith, your effort is futile, your relationship turn sourer than plum, and you begin to wander around with question mark in your mind. Regardless of any kind of dispute, as long as faith exists, it will put thing apart together again. (Ironically, those without faith incline to be more persistent among others, but alike a lost-sheep in the jungle with a wander.)
Making ‘Assumption’ is healthy for relationship provided it tags with faith; Assumption is incomparable to ‘guessing’, because assumption arrives with some logic thinking behind the scene to arrive with a fair & impartial judgment; otherwise, it will only exacerbate the problem. However, philosopher once said that ‘good or bad, any ways, are the choice chosen by those who choose to be it’. If you make a wrong assumption, it means you chose the wrong way. It is not about academic ‘assumption’ we talk about, it is about assuming a past & future scenario in a relationship, it helps to avoid being pessimistic, instead, proactive towards handling a circumstance, and leading you to more understanding. For example, if my partner hardly spends time for me due to her hectic schedule, but sometime, rather, hang around with her best friends; I would assume she is bored with me? Then I will have to re-look into myself. If I would assume she finds it hard to turn her friends down? Then I shall feel empathize for her.
‘Heedful or heehaw’, Communication requires foresight; what the other party perceived what you said or act, will determine the emotional feeling of them. Many relationship ends because of hindsight communication, believing that being hindsight is being frank. I would doubt so, because only children would speak of something that doubtful of the response. In a mature relationship, I would believe even if you have shared the least compare to other couple, you should still have the least understanding about your partner’s attitude, bending towards which direction for her to hear your flow of communication. Being sensible and heedful to your partner is thus important, otherwise, ‘heehaw’.
Making affability part of your life, plant it in your relationship can help to enhance better communication. It bring forth a friendly aura, unambiguous environment that encourage free sharing. Once philosophers said, ‘The devil can smell the kindest, the kindest can smell the ominous’; Communication gets better with affability in you, because he/she can smell it, and talk with you.
Empathic is another important element that ones can not live without in communication. Often, we live in our own world, and neglected people around us, even in our daily communication. Talking, Emailing, SMS-ing, and in any kind of mechanics that deals with people, require empathic, to feel for them, and so they feel for you, and perceive you differently. It is helpful to say ‘It must be hard for you’; ‘I see tiredness in your eye, and my heart sour’, you may call it a sweet talk, but it works because they feel you in their life.
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