01 October 2006
A SOULFUL RELATIONSHIP - by Ronald McFadden
A good read!
An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."
Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs.
Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults isn’t really important.
Once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you.
You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths.
You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life together.
Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control?
What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship! Seeking status, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.
What keeps a relationship strong?
Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note). Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send an email.
Share common goals and interests.
Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interests. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment.
Don't try to control one another.
Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.
Don't put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for richer or for poorer.
If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.
The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the "I"!!!!
The greatest glory of living is never falling, but in rising every time you fall ...............
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30 September 2006
How to ask for Salary Increment…forwarded..
*One day an employee sends a letter to his/her boss asking for salary increment*
Dear Bo*$$*
In thi*$* life, we all need *$*omething mo*$*t de*$ *perately. I think you *$*hould be under *$*tanding of the need*$* of your worker*$* who have given * $*o much *$*upport including *$*weat and *$*ervice to your company .
I am *$*ure you will gue* $$* what I mean and re*$*pond *$*oon.
Your*$* *$*incerely,
*Marian** **$hih*
*The next day, the employee received the below letter of reply*
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Dear Marian
I k*NO*w you have been working very hard. *NO*wadays, *NO*thing much has changed. You must have *NO*ticed that our company is* **NO*t doing *NO*ticeably well as yet.
*NO*w the newspaper are saying the world’s leading eco*NO*mists are *NO*t sure if the United States may go into a*NO* ther recession. After the *NO*vember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have* **NO*thing more to add ***NO*w. You k*NO*w what I mean.
Yours truly,
Manager
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29 September 2006
Bear the extra ordinary…
Still remember those days when people tend to advise me, ‘learn from mistake’. Now I’ve realized that, ‘mistake is not the drive in the learning curve; but being scolded for mistake is’.
There must always be negative elements in the learning environment; slightly touch feeling negatively, acting as a catalyst to your mind, and then you will learn…
Most of the successful personality have a past; they took considerable hardship; accept the toughest critic, bear the unbelievable revilement, and experience extra ordinary ‘experiences’ that non dare to challenge…I feel so alike…thirty for success…
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28 September 2006
Do not have doubt on your choice…
I was sent to train local promoter today in a promoter agency. I realize how importance is it to have a good PR, and lucky enough I have managed to utilize my PR knowledge to maintain a good relationship with all my promoters, at the end, earn their respect, and the session end up happily.
A week ago when my manager requires me to devise a set of promoter evaluation form, sales target & sales commission scheme for the temporary promoters under the agency. I started to doubt it may work.
As far as I know, current promoters handling the others company brand do not perform; the root, is the people behind the brand is not performing; however, the blame is pinned on the promoters.
I had a sharing session with the agency director; I told her, it is not my idea to work out a system as I know they had their own evaluation system in place. I share with her my business philosophy which is very simple and only 3 short statements before I ended the discussion; ‘I do not doubt on the people I hire’, ‘I always struck for win-win’ & ‘trust for sacrifice’.
I provide her a solution, which is ‘laid everything on table & clear all doubt’; reason being, I can delete the agenda in my schedule – Promoter Evaluation System. And, it is better-off for both parties as well.
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27 September 2006
Benevolence – the best weapon a king must have…
Benevolent means kind, and vice versa; watching the movie series – ‘The war between Zhu & Han’ inspires me, and such inspiration does not arrive easily.
It tells me, benevolent wins every human hearts & feels. It also tells me sovereignty can kill. It also tells me, a female could turn a man’s life from one end to another. Perhaps, the only reason we have history, is to educate us to be preventive, defensive & yet also offensive…under certain circumstances…
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26 September 2006
Willingness…
‘When you plant two plants together; they will grow with their root commingle with one another, naturally.’ – Stephen Covey
Willingness becomes crucial in the learning curve; as it tells you to open our heart, it tells you to be receptive, it tells you to communicate.
Willingness moulds your heart to work on certain thing which people perceived it as determination.
Plants commingle naturally but human being could resist communicating with each others; eventually, it lays on the willingness of both parties; to let go or to hold it firmly…
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24 September 2006
Day by day…
Day passed, I sat on my bed, pondering, what I want to achieve at the end of the day. Taking a meager pay from a MNC, may not even be enough for me especially reaching month end when I start to live empty pocket.
I sat pondering, and an idea struck me from my right brain to the left. ‘Part-time lecturer’ is good, I could easily earn up to RM 250 an hours with my Master Degree. Indulging in the ideas, I am starting to dream away and wake up only when I realize that Working weekend may not be feasible especially with my current working environment, where office work has to be first priority; it would better if I recognize my company = my wife! So irony…
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23 September 2006
The Synergy…
“If a person of your intelligence and competence and commitment disagrees with me, then there must be something to your disagreement that I don’t understand, and I need to understand it. You have a perspective, a frame of reference I need to look at.” – Stephen Covey
Differences create the opportunity to synergize; yet we are trying hard to suppress the differences so that we can overcome them. Synergy will be killed in the process; people are emotionally broken, the birth of revengeful thought, and if this is what you want…do you? The doom of personal relationship…
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