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AMERICAN WOMEN
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary position. Then you promise to marry her but will probably abandon the idea.
JAPANESE WOMEN
Second date: She'll take a bath in front of you and let you smell her panties.
Third date: You get to have kinky sex with her.
Then she'll bid you sayonara, as that was her last fling as she's getting married to a Japanese man tomorrow.
MALAY WOMEN
First date: You get to touch that big breast others.
Second date: You get to home base with her.
Third date: You have to promise her that you are going to get circumcised. Then you will marry her and find out that you have to support her whole family. The only consolation is that you get to repeat the procedure three more times as allowed under Islamic law!
CHINESE WOMEN
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner but nothing happens too.
Third date: You have already realized that nothing’s going to happen.
INDIAN WOMEN
First date: You meet her parents.
Second date: The date is set for the wedding.
Third date: It's your wedding night!
First date: you lose all your cash in your wallet
Second date: you max out all your credit cards
Third date: you clean out your bank account and you still can't get to first base. 3 weeks after your third date, you die from SARS.
I am Peter Stuyvesant
I have two friends,Benson and Hedges
I came from the city of Marlboro,
In the Salem high country
I Always carry a Mild Seven
I rode on a White Horse
Going to Kingsway in Kent
It was Lucky Strike I fell in love
With the daughter of Master Duke
Her name Was YSL
We got married by Perillys , the priest
We checked in at the house of Dunhill
And booked into room number 555
I laid her on the bed made of Gold Leaf
I played with her two Matterhorns
When I poked in my Rothmans King Size
She cried in delight, "You are a Rough Rider !!!"
You are riding like a mad Camel
When I asked her if she is satisfied
She answered" I want MORE! !!!"
Then suddenly she turned around and asked me if I want to enter her Gudang Garam.
She said... depan belakang puas, barulah SAMPOERNA!!!
Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office,
but she belonged to someone else...
One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to
her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me
screw you. But the girl said NO.
Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on
the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the
time you pick it up. "
She thought for a moment and said that she would have
to consult her boyfriend... So she called her
boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the
money very fast, he won't even be able to get his
pants down."
So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour
goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his
girlfriend to call.
Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and
asks what happened.
She responded, "The bastard used coins!"
Management lesson:
Always consider a business proposal
in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!
Dining with my wife @ Pizza Uno @ Centra Point Bandar Utama, we were seated opposite of a family of 9 consist of Grandparents, parents of 3 children & a weird couple. I’ve never had a peaceful meal since then because I constantly heard the father ‘attacking’ his son with harsh word. Below are some words coming out from his mouth, and I drop my jaw!
‘You only realize that you are out of ‘something’ after we have been waiting for almost half an hour? I don’t care, today is a special day for us, now I am going to order something on yours restaurant!’
Talking to his dad after the waiter left, ‘Don’t care, just squeeze something out from them’
I had a good sharing with Superciliousme about scholarship offer. Government or private scholarship, each are managed by human-being, and subjected to flaw as nothing is perfect. Policy is made by human as well, and is subjected to mishandling & bias too. The only thing I perceive as unfair is when the policy / procedure do not enclose detailed investigation on applicant background, inclusive of household income and hidden income that a family possibly has. I once has a friend who are brilliant academically, driving his birthday present (BM) from his parents, and was given a 2 years scholarship by government to further study to a reputable
‘Those who study hard enough, only dream to have a scholarship abroad; yet, those who are given a scholarship, whine across the street to justify their demand’
Note: Unless government specified Straight A – UK, B student – Russia, C student Indian, then you can whine your way up to UK with you’re a result…
Someone told me to work for the government if you want to get away from the world of stress - why? Simply government has never need to get their job done! Why? they only spend time figure-out 'Creative excuses' to please us! Excuses is everyone's strength, don't you think? 'Yeah'....'true, true..'
My learning - When you start to feel lost is when you know the truth, and locate your direction aftermath. The truth is my job is not What I think it is what I expect but considerably building up my new expectation to fakingly adapt to it...
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