Tuesday, April 21, 2009

What can I learn from my friend?


Syl is a person who treasures friendship very much. He always believes in ‘giving’ before ‘receiving’. He has a bunch of friends, Nora, K.T, Su, and Chan.

One day, KT called for a Barbecue session, and everyone agreed; the organizer is Syl. Syl prepared the food with passion and tried to ensure everyone enjoying the food. Syl also reminded his friends, direct and indirectly about the barbecue session; but was told that they will be there only after their movie session; however, they didn’t tell when the movie will end. Syl thought it will not be late as they knew about the barbecue session.

Syl lighted up the charcoal, while waiting, he was already starving, and knowing he has got gastric problem so he took a cup of Vico to ease it. His wife offered to pack him some light food before it started but he refused, and passionately claimed that he will be having a good session with his friends later, and do not mind waiting a while more.

As the time passed, Syl know, something was wrong, and so he texted Su, and also forwarded the text message to Nora. A minute later, Nora called, and said, ‘We are having our dinner in Restaurant Taipan’, I just arrived, and they were already done. Syl almost dropped his jaw.

‘I thought we suppose to have Barbecue?’, claimed Syl.

‘I know, but they already have dinner but I just arrived, have you taken you dinner?’, replied Nora.

‘Not yet’, Syl replied furiously.

‘Never mind, I accompany you for dinner’, offered Nora.

‘No need’, replied SYL.

Syl felt a strong temper pushing his back, and fuming his head. He went home, and sits in front of his laptop, and started his confession email.

“I think at this point of time, for all these activities, you all can just keep me in the loop, and I shall not take it as serious.

Making early commitment to suggested activity, and pull out later, is not good. I certainly do not want to give any empty promises.

Again, I am also trying to prevent what happen from happening; I am not sure whose idea was it to have barbecue together, knowing that I have prepared for Barbecue session, and waiting for people due to early commitment / promises, was already very difficult for me, especially when barbecue was eventually called off was not pleased at all. Frankly, I am extremely 'pissed' for that incident, and still very-very 'pissed'.

I hope you all would understand I am a person committed to what I mean it is as it is. You can rest assure if I committed to the activities, I would make sure I mean it at all cost, and I hope you do as well.

Thank you.



P/S: Anyway, having me or not, have never been an issue for you guyz; I am a dispensable member after all or, more or less, a replacement to make up a number.”

Once his email sent to his bunch of friends, below email reply respectively from his friend defensively,

From KT


Don’t be so angry lah, when u call up that time, Nora just reaches the place only, when she offered to ask you come over to have Barbecue but you refused. I know you felt left out, but we are not purposely doing it to piss you!! If you still very very pissed, we will apologize to you...and if you still consider us as your friend, next week we still can go jogging together, if not, you just go on your own lah, wasted Su’s kindness to accompany you for last few months!!

And I believe your below statement really pissed everyone:

“P/S: Anyway, having me or not, have never been an issue for you guyz; I am a dispensable member after all or, more or less, a replacement to make up a number.”

You also doing it to all of us, you will only come out when your wife go outstation or overseas, did we ever mentioned that we just her replacement when no one accompany you for dinner? So please be considerate. However, I understand you just voice out your unhappiness, due to you really appreciate us as you friend, but don’t talk something will hurt people feeling.

Thank you and best regards,



SYL replied polite, saying that he went jogging alone today, and he does not need anyone to accompany him….Syl can not trace back his reply here but overall he replied politely…


Dear Su, I dunno why I have to settle this in the first place.

Please give me a good explanation.

Dear SYL, As far as I my understanding on the movie session, whoever is interested can come, no come no problem. An as far as I know those who come, after activity we should have dinner together. And as I know is only Nora will join us after her church. SYL, I dunno who the hell date you, promise you, committed to you. You must have a major gastric attack yesterday. Go to the person and please dun trash your frustration on other. Please be more considerate and try to understand the actual situation first.

And about your gastric matter, as a friend here, I seriuosly advise you to take extra care. And as an adult you should blame on others about it. You are big enough to take care of yourself.



Dear Chan,

I appreciate you advice. I think there is some big miscommunication along the way. Yes, you are right at the first place, but wrong at the 2nd place. I guess there are suggestions to have barbecue, and someone has agreed to it. As such, waiting for you people, is reasonable at the first place - similarly, what is the logic having dinner appointment with someone, but you have your dinner first, right? :) I must say you have your point. Thank you very much. :)




Hi, SYL, Morning.

It just a small matter only, what make you so "pissed" till now?

We are all friends. Don't be so petty la. Maybe there is some misunderstanding.........

1st: Chan send out a gentle reminder to everyone for the charity activities last week. Did you reply her that you couldn't join but will only join for dinner? I have replied to all that I couldn't join the activity, BUT I will join them for dinner.

2nd: During Sat breakfast, I asked you to bring the CD to me on Sunday Barbecue. So I know you organize it. But for Su, he might not hear that. So might assume you are just saying for fun and won't do anything….

3rd: On Sunday, after the activity only they text me for Dinner, because on Sat I did ask them to text me after they have finished the activity. When you called me, they actually just finished their dinner. They are so tired already, need to go back to take bath. But I did ask you to come over, I can accompany you for barbecue session. But you was so angry there.. never listen to me….. how am I going to talk to you le?

Thanks & Regards,



Thanks Nora

First of all, I mention barbecue is ok at different occasion.

1st occasion – Friday night dinner

2nd occasion – Saturday morning jogging

3rd occasion – Saturday morning breakfast

4th occasion – when u SMS me again to remind me about the CD

guess I am not the only one not listening…

Thank you.





If you think I'm right at the first place, please apologize as your email really pissed me off early in the morning.

Secondly, "what is the logic having lunch appointment with someone, but you have your lunch first, right? "

Eh, you are big enough to take care of your "own stomach". If your stomach cannot tahan mah grab some food eat first lo!

Is a shame for me to tell you this. Eating some light food to ease your gastric problem does not mean TO HAVE LUNCH FIRST! Simply. Tiew!




Dear All,

I think the best way to resolve this kind of unhappiness, don’t be friends anymore!!!!!

I told SYL, what’s the point doing thing passionately? What’s the point treating person passionately?

Whenever you cook, jogging, movie, or having some leisure activities, you always remember to call your friends, but at the end, what did you get? They said you treat them as how they treat you, ‘making up number!’, and…they said you call them out because your wife is outstation, and what else, they blame your angriness hurting them…

Again, what’s the point for you to initiate to call Chan out for breakfast after jogging? What’s the point of you keep reminding people to remember to call Chan whenever he did not reply SMS, you shouldn’t do that, it is a waste of time, because being good doesn’t mean people will be good to you, see what happen now, people do not even put you in their mind.

Remember, you invited KT for steamboat at your house, and she told Nora she can’t come. When Nora arrived at your house, you politely asked Nora and Su to call KT again just to confirm, why would you want to do that, if she said don’t want to come, then let it be, why would you want to care so much about her, it is a waste of time. You try to avoid making assumption but people are making huge assumption on you.

I also told SYL, ‘people do not even care if you exist’, ask yourself, have they ever called you for dinner or launch before? ‘ONCE in A BLUE MOON PERHAPS!’, you are the one initiate it most of the time, even when you know CHAN will usually eat at home in Sunday night, but you still ask Su to call him, you are such a loser, people don’t really care what you do to them, all they care is about themselves. (and may be they had dinner together all the time excluding you, because they don’t even care to call you!)

You can try your ever best to try to make sure everyone come together-gether! You can make your very own initiative to call, SMS and email and remind people, confirm their attendance, persuading them to join for eating, But no one will appreciate it, because for them, it is either you are TOO LONELY FREAK, or you are simple a touch and go friend.

I hope you finally wake up SYL. They are not your TRUE friends, if they are your TRUE friends, you would LISTEN to you, despite the fact you mention about your intention at 4 separate occasions but at the end ONLY Nora know about it, and look, the way the emails were written, it was totally a JOKE man. Haha!

IF they are your true friend, anyone of them, any one, would have suggest, ‘better call SYL just to let him know, just in case he want to come’, - You do that to them all the time, but in this situation, they do not even do that to you. You have just become my laughing stock; I think they LOOK more like your frivolous friend..TRUE friend is too good to them…

I hope you finally wake UP!

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