Prince: ThE NoRm...

Getting into a relationship is easy, but maintaining a relationship may be difficult in the process. Of course, two persons must be able to exert ‘give and take’ in their relationship, and willing to invest effort for betterment. It is just on top of his mind about the common mistakes in a relationship, looking at the personality perspectives at which he can think of.

The first devil in relationship – stubbornness! Stubbornness occurs when they believe that they are right, with a strong hold to personal ground, so strong that they do not allow partner to interfere. They believe that they are being themselves because it has survived them for so long. The laziness and low-self-determination for changes or, unable to accept of something new in life are also a signal of stubbornness. Conflict always occurs when stubbornness exist, and will never be solved.

Even if conflict has been solved, but without reasoning and receptive mindset, the conflict was just merely accepted but not ‘neutralize’ (make understandable)

Stubborn occurs also because of arrogance and egoistic, they believe they are right and do not want to ‘lose-face’, but be careful, because it will lead to negative temper when the situation become intolerable (this depends on the character of the partner, vary according to personality).

A couple must be able to trust and being receptive to each other’s stand. They must be able to embrace an open thought which allow them to accept each other in the process. Of course, one can not live without reasoning skill which is important in evaluating and choosing the best possible solution to synergize the differences in interest.

The second devil in relationship – Control! Control Mechanism results from various negative character, the very first one is the insecurity in relationship. This happens when they don’t trust each other and find it difficult to build faith in relationship due to superficial factors. Thus, the easiest way is to control their partner, and mould them into one that fit their criteria, to attain the sense of security.

One of the example, when your partner stops you from seeing anyone of the opposite sex; He/she tries to control your social circle so that you won’t have any chance of meeting anyone better than them. This is, believe to help them build up their trust and sense of security.

It is believes that control can also help to soften their sense of jealousy, and jealousy occurs only when couple loves each other too much, and become overwhelming. Control mechanism comes into play also because they want their partner to meet their expectation in the process and, the list of expectation will become a never ending story. It may start from a few issues which either party dissatisfies, and they start to exert control to mould them to fit their expectation, but the list of expectation will not stop growing. That is when pressure takes place, and conflict occurs when disagreement break-out.

Continuously building expectation on each others also reflects the selfishness behaviors where they do not think much for each other (though they always believe it is for the benefit of their partner). They have, at this moment, already forgone the fundamental requirement in the character of their partner. Major problem occurs when expectation starts to grow but unable to fulfill it. This is only part of what he observes in relationship, and he is trying hard to play by the simple rules- feeling and understanding.

Listening to Chicago – ‘Glory of Love’