



'他己不認得自己是誰了﹐一直在改變的他﹐已開始累了﹐但是他告訴自己﹐‘我是不可以放棄的因為有很多人在看着我走這條人生大路﹐只要盡最大的努力﹐成功遲早也是會來的。’
As a leader, becoming a ‘transducer’ is crucial. You may take as much ‘heat’ from ‘unreasonable’ person as much as you can bear with, but make sure all are transduced from heat to ‘breeze’ that carry motivation to your subordinates.
I took blame, furious from others, frustration & disappointment as claimed by others, and unreasonable nag; but I manage to take a deep breath and sigh away, so that I am able to breath ‘better’ air, and release better air to others…that’s my job…and working with me you feel pressureless, and you have my trust, with me given you mines before I earn yours…that’s my duty.
‘The Day of Judgment is the day of verdict, also the day I left…’
“One day when you are asked for the ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, you know from your heart you are always right, that is when you make the unforgiving mistake that carve in your mind for long…”
“I can see many people many years from now, but I can’t see myself in my future…and that’s pathetic!”
“Who has the heart to push further if they know they have given up?”
“If you think your company is smart, you won’t be here anymore…."
I start to learn that leader who constantly claim to think positive in the field, are the one who always start with negative thinking, and lack of trust! It is ironic to know that most leaders are born the same.
Taking below scenario for example:
What I am trying to say here is that Boss always has excuses if they want to pin the blame on you.
27 Jun is certainly not a good day!!!!!
Today is not any brighter for me. I get 5 shots today, 4 shots from the same person, and 1 shot from sales department.
I sit down and think through carefully hoping that I could improve myself further, but eventually, I come to conclude that ‘it may not be entirely my fault’.
2 weeks after I joined the company, and to date, I receive an average of at least 1 shot per day. Well, it could be from anyone but mostly from 2 persons, and one of them occupies the most!
I cogitated, and I realize each ‘shot’ is merely to pin the blame on me; it is a cloak for inefficiency of the others. Take today as an example, which occurs at 4 different occasions in office:-
20 Jun...I request for a letter of statement of charges from Open University, and will soon receive it from my supervisor; why…because he called to say so!
At work…
Time flies, when time being ignored, lost its juice eventually but gain the relives. Time lags, when time being observed, live the moment but get the stress…
‘Oh, my, oh, my, how much longer does it take to even near next year!’
‘OMG, my company is an idiot!’
‘Shit! I slept at 5am, and got to arrive sharp at 830am! Or get warning letter! à Shit again! What kind of company is this?’
‘When impossible becomes possible, is considerably an act of god by human’s hands. None should take the credit except the man own-self’
‘Impossible is nothing because it’s achievable with certain skills & high spirit, and persistency, yet not commonly attainable because ‘give-up’ constantly appears in mind’
‘Take the ‘good’ by own hand, rather better than given or force in by others who claim it so. Often what was claim to be good for you were force into you not on your will’
‘Read the mission, express your love, love your company, what else, purely brainwashing gimmick that never work’
‘Opps….finally, end of the month, live the tribulation and unscathed, [sigh] 7 months to go…’
I finally defer my Doctoral study to January Intake instead of May & September. After struggling within serious contemplation, I realize that I am not financially & thoughtfully ready for this.
My decision allows me to count my day off in company too; ‘it makes counting easy’ cause hardship can be taken lightly when you have anticipation.
January tells the commencement of change in my career, and I will have no doubt to leave the company after that. [Most probably]
I started to feel myself as being paranormal when an important & impossible task was completed in such a short time-line. Eventually, it drained my resources, spiritually worn off for working non-stop for the past few weeks, has even taking away my weekend.
Sense of achievement? Though may not be true to myself, it is not an achievement after all, I am just doing my best to fulfill my duty in the company, where it should not be called commitment?
Ironically, you are considered as ‘very’ committed to your job when you work past hours, staying up late for assignment, or pushing yourself to the limit when you know it is impossible, is somehow, rather ironic to be tagged myself as ‘committed staff’.
I truly believe current organization has lost its logic to denominate the word ‘commitment’, as far from what it supposes to mean. It reminds me about organization leaders trying to nurture the behavior within.
Long ago, someone cited an organization should have a behavior that conducive enough for people residing in the company. And, not long later, someone argue that having organization behavior giving life to an organization, but somehow, do not support the claim as being a good company; hence, they claim that company should have ‘good’ organization behavior, and academician starts to pursue such dream, educational article printed, penetrating the college & university, and people are gushing towards that direction hoping to educate the people about ‘good’ behavior. It works somehow, it becomes simply a wish of mouth for many leaders, a word which constantly claim by many leaders, that never been realized at the end.
What I want to say here is that, the meaning of ‘commitment’ may have suffered the same destiny. Company claims the need of committed staff but never able to give a proper definition to ‘commitment’, and eventually victimized the staff…I feel it too…
After accepting the most stupid excuse from UM [insufficient lecturer in the field of consumer behavior; hence they drop my application]; I certainly gazed at my computer, holding the phone in stupefaction, and gradually, frustrated & fed-up with UM system of management! [Hire more lecturer-lah please, not turning students away! Eventually your service should be inline with government action to wards increasing knowledge workers!]
I finally receive a letter of offer from Open University for PhD study, though, a bit more expensive than UM [UM= 13k, Open U= 20k], somehow better than
Now, Apart from hectically working my ass off in office, I am also bumming around for Education Loan or any type of financial aids I can get for my PhD; Well, I am totally financially exhausted for my engagement & new apartment, but I believe I will get over this soon… nothing is impossible though…
I attended P & G entry test!
It is fucking tough; you’ve got to finish 50 questions within 65 minutes; and there are comprehension, data analysis, and as much as 20 Add Math questions!
It certain blow my head off!
I had no idea what is it going to do with the position as assistant brand manager; but I heard if you do well in math, supposing your brain should be moving faster than others.
Well, I don’t know…
‘Perceived myself as a cavern, blinded-phoenix who continuously seeks to get-out of the cave, and it is only a matter of time before he does, and I believe in fate but I’ve never grant it recognition to control my life, or thou fate is controlled. Is this what you call the presentiment of the future?’
‘Seeking for the right king to serve is tougher than I thought; serving an MNC could have make my path shorter to look for the right one, but amazed with how unorganized an organization can be. Power struggling is every where seen, jealousy & back-mouthing culture penetrate every nook & cranny except the corner occupied by the big boss.'
--Prince--
These few weeks are the most difficult week to me as tough decision has to be made for my future, though, I may have pretentiously claim to stay another year, I know, it will be tough especially working under a non-conducive environment for learning.
Positive thought tell me to stay as I’m not able to survive in next company If I can’t survive under the present environment; Another thought of fallen angel tell me to leave as my conscience knows present environment is much worse compare to others.
Moving on is important for me, I know, and I should also know that I am already 26 year-old, though, younger than lots other, but I’ve only another 4 years to spend building the base of my career, considering before 30 y-o is a quarter of career-fighting period.
Somehow, my thought was become a series of word of mouth, and people are swarm with inquisition, and supposition I may leave, and I certainly feel indignant for being an object of suspicion, to have hidden intention to leave company for a greener pasture.
‘The perils, though I came through unscathed, but palpable disappointed & frustrated for being live under the deviated expectation; dream jobs don’t come, while I’ve to force my passion on those cruising through at the moment of my life, at which I reproach out of expectation. ‘
Employees are the pillars of the company, and yet employees are the one to ruin the pillars at last; painstaking employees working hard to achieve something, yet alas being eaten away by the less conducive working environment under the culture built by the pretentious & arrogant top management who ultimately claim to give the best for the company!
Something which I’ve learnt about branding is to turn competitors’ asset into their liability; and utilize their weaknesses to build on our strength. Not easily understood the sentence, but it is the most strategic idea in the Business-Warfield, when you ponder deeply upon the sentence.