Wondering how importance EQ in a relationship, I come to realize that many relationships break down because of this. I have neither read EQ book before nor attended any lecturer or seminar on this interesting area, but I do believe EQ is about ‘putting yourselves in others’ shoe’; that’s when you start to think!
‘Understanding’ is a dilemmatic words; it’s a noun, and may be a verb, truly depend on individual perception. This peculiar word determines the depth of a relationship, and it has its own role. However, we are not solely relying upon this word; it is the ‘Next-Action’ that we concern the most! Undeniably, a relationship can not live without having ‘understanding’ at the first place, but the action upon understood is as important, the right or wrong reaction determine the progress of the relationship; or otherwise, either one of them suffered the most, who usually the one love the most. This is because; they adopted the ‘next wrong action’ after understanding!
How much do you understand about your partner, tells what soft of reaction do you intend to reflect on your countenance, which fundamentally and ultimately rely on the maturity of your thought. The degree of understanding between partners isn’t sufficient to ensure a secure relationship, somehow I realize that the ‘next action’ taken after ‘understanding’ is the most critical one, don’t you think so?
Example, your girlfriend got into an accident with your new sport-car bought only yesterday; she is safe but your car became a piece of junk. After understanding the situation, right or wrong isn’t matter anymore; how would you react?
Knowing it is her mistake, Smile and said, ‘Are you alright? Be more careful next time, we only has one life; live it or lose it. Let’s go home’
Knowing it’s other’s mistake, Smile and said ‘Are you alright? I will send you to work tomorrow; you can use the other car before we get a new car again; let’s go home’
Example, you’ve got a capable husband who has to work outstation; but he calls every day & manages to return home every weekend. You fully understand the nature of his work, and responsibility. What do you do or want to do?
Make him promise to return for dinner every weekend with a good reason –
Said - ‘Work must be tough, I will cook the best for you every weekend to compensate that’
Don’t Said - ‘Hawker food is not good for health’
Don’t Said - ‘You only come back once a week, better stay out, I don’t want to see you home, you have never treat it as home, Is this a hotel for you?’
Example, understanding that your partner has characters problem that are either petulant, picky, or whatsoever, and you are able to withstand all above, but is that what you want? What do you do?
Do’s - Understanding & forgiven are not sufficient; you need to transmit your understanding to her. She / he lashed out at you on your mistake; one day, when she / he makes a mistake, you have got to say ‘It’s alright; don’t worry; I can live with it, I hope you do the same thing on me next time’
Don’t - ‘an eye for an eye’!
One last things, withstand the bitters in a relationship makes one suffers the most; it is a matter of neutralize it, transform your thought & with new mindset then – ‘you are a new person-almost perfect’
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