Tired Of INTERVIEW...

I got an interview on Monday, and I started to feel tired of the entire interview that I have to go through. Undeniably, I have received many offers after my decision to leave my current company.
Perhaps, I was too choosy to join any one of the recommended company.

I believe rumors started to penetrate the office now, believe it or not, nothing is swifter than rumors. They claim, rumors can kill a person dignity and spoil fame, and I believe in it. I also believe that rumor has already reached the top management ear side. However, thing may change sometime, who knows, I may stay. Let’s keep our finger cross…

MPAJ...

This morning, I came across a scene where MPAJ was dismantling and confiscate a hawker stall. The lady fainted. Basically, MPAJ confiscated all her goods and even her stalls. Passer-by gathered to observe due to their curiosity, only made it worse. Sometimes, I wonder, why on earth they want to do their business without appropriate license. That is the risk you have to bear with though.

Result is OUT..!!

I got my result today, and it was something that I should be happy about, I got two distinctions and one credit, I thought I hardly get credit, and only pass that I can dream of. I took my exam too easily, and without much pressure in the week of exam. I still remember I went out clubbing. Perhaps, I was just trying to keep my anxiety for myself. But my reaction sometimes may not please other, since they were all trying to cope with their exam by burning midnight oil.

After I got my result, one of the MBA students came to me and asked with excitement, “Hi, Steve, what do you get for your exam”. I guess she must have gotten a good result then, before I answered her question, she started to boast about her result, “I got distinction for my economic, you see, sometimes last minute thingy work for me!”

I told myself “yeah, right, you will know if you fail”, I hate last minute work…

What an Acquiantance...

I must admit that studying and working at the same time, isn’t please at all. A part from having a tiring day, I almost lose my time for leisure. Fortunately, I still have time to get sweat!

When I was jogging today, I came across someone, who I innocently thought he might be an angel from god. I was resting at the lakeside after the long-distance jog, and someone hailing on me. He was an Indian guy at his late forties, I believe. Here was the conversation.

“Do you like fishing?”, he asked

“Yeah, kind of”, I answered with puzzle

“It is a very fascinating scene, the air is so fresh”, he expressed

“I agree with you though”, I answered again with puzzle, with concern that he might be a drug addict.

“Come closer, let’s have a chat”, he suggested

I pondered for a while, and walked forwards, and sat down besides him.

“My name is Karma, what about you?”, he asked

“I am Steve, you can call me ‘Tan’ if it is too difficult for you to remember”, I answered politely

“Where are you from? You do not look like local, you speak a different slang. What is your job, and where do you study?” he asked

“I just came back from Paris, I went to Australia & France last week”, he continued with his fancy talk and with many questions before I was able to think of the answer.

“Oh, I am local; I did my Degree in Penang, and currently working in a private University as a Public Relations Executive. It is great that you are able to travel around the world, what do you do then”, I asked with suspicious because he looked more like a drug addict to me, with his attired, short pants, slipper and a shattered T-shirt.

“I am sailor” he answered, and that explained why he got to travel around the world. The funny issue is, he asked for my name again. “What is your name again’, he asked, and I suspect that he might be drunk, but, acted calm and sober. Politely, I answered his question, mention my name to him with annoyance.

“You know what, I do not like fishing, here is the scenario, if you fall down the sea, the fish will eat you, and then, you are fishing and eat the fish. What can be better if you just don’t fish! Do you understand what I am saying?”, he related with his though.

As a matter of fact, I don’t understand a word! But, I nodded, acting as if I understand, just to avoid his disappointment and his long explanation again.

I pondered again, a drug addicted can’t possibly speak such fluent English with me, and perhaps he is really a sailor after all. I tried to continue our conversation and asked, “I have seen many who come here to fish, but they seem disappointed at the end of the day because they have just a little catch”.

“I do not believe it that, you should know, it is just like fisherman though. They have such a greedy though that they want a good catch each time, but they only come back with an average catch. This is because god wants to keep the rest for other fisherman, if they have a good catch every day, they will tend to go out more often and leave only a little for the rest of the group. It is fairness that counts”, he explained.

I ponder again, and I realize that he might be right to certain extent. He might not be drunk though. Meanwhile, it was getting late, and I can feel the mosquito, flying around my body just to get a taste of my blood. I quickly made a move with an excuse.

He tried to keep me there, asking me to talk to him for a while, just to keep him accompanies, but I insisted that I should go.

He looked at me for a while, and said okay and then, he advised, “Young man, remember one thing, not to believe in any one, but you, you need to make your own choice sometimes, good luck to you okay”.

I thought I understand the whole conversation ostensibly, but, practically, I can’t possibly figure out what was it all about. However, I did learn something about fisherman theory today!

Gosh...

I encountered something very embarrassing...The event finally started! The VIP was giving his talk, standing behind the rostrum. The VIP coughed a few times, hinting that he needed water (many of us assumed so!).

I was instructed to give him a bottle of water by my President. I run- up the stage, intended to give him the water bottle. Unfortunately, he did not notice me; perhaps, he was too obsessed with his topic.

I tried to place the water bottle on the Rostrum, at which I only found out that the rostrum designed in such a way that it was slanted; there was no where you can place a bottle of water on top of it. I was caught with surprise, trying to find a place to put the water, that would accessible to him later, with all the eyes looking at me.

I was anxious, and believe me, I looked down, and my superiors, Vice President, Manager and other who sat in the front seats, was hinting with their eyes, asking me to come down NOW! I had no choice but to put the water bottle on the floor, which was very unhygienic.

I am toally ALONE..

The event is supposed to start at 10am, and the committees are supposed to gather here at 9am, unfortunately, none of them show off yet, and therefore, I find myself sitting along in such a huge recital hall, toying around with my laptop. They have made some adjustment with my baby laptop, and worse still they back my background picture! Well, and they laugh on my nick as “prince”, I wonder, is this nick attract so much attention and laughter? Since Chinese New Year is around the corner, I hope today can be a better day for me to live on.

Oops… I finally notice someone coming in…

BOSS is Boss..!

I find myself hardly got time for my revision these few days, and I feel worried. I always believe in hard work, and only hard work can give you “confidence”. I was stuck with company event on Tsunami, and god knows, I was chasing the dateline. Two CDs were handed over to me on Monday afternoon for editing, and they need it on Wednesday afternoon for rehearsal, since it involves students, and students can’t possibly stay back 24 hours a day to help you, they need to attend class. It’s going to take more than two days for the editing to take place. However, in the midst of worry, they finally get it done on-time.

I am starting to feel uneasy about thing that has happened lately, losing trust from my CEO is one case. I believe there is no need for explanation over the matter. A leader must be able to analyze certain circumstances before they reach a conclusion, I hate leader who jump into conclusion and victimize innocent employees. It does not show your leadership skills, and worse, it involves me.

As an employee of a company, we always wish to work under a good boss, and this has always been a dream to many, that has never been realized. This is my third job and I can ensure you every boss is the same, and ironically, they are the boss!

Future.............

I doubt about my future, I wonder what I would be five years later. I know clearly that I will be doing my DBA next year, no matter what happen, hassle or problem, I insist on my dream.

I am getting clearer and clearer of what I want to be in future, a part from being a rich man; I wish to have more than a status, though.

Nothing can stop me from achieving my dream, but, I also realize that I am getting tired of climbing up the ladder now. I always remind myself that I need to keep my spirit going.

I had a conversation with my MBA lecturer, “How can we increase our market value” I asked sincerely. She said I am at the right tract now, because MBA can help to increase my market value.

I do not believe in paper qualification sometime, although, I am doing it now, but, please accept the fact that how much time do you have, to study in your lifetime, just to get a few more pieces of paper qualification for the sake of your market value.

I always believe in experience and your wisdom which people are able to notice, and that can help pushing up your market value, when I asked her, I was actually referring to what kind of experience and how to get myself notice! But she answered in a trivial way though.

Anyway, I looked at those Directors, they neither have leadership skill nor aggressiveness, but they are still a Director! Talking about value, they certainly worth more than other, but what make them worth that much? That is what I always ponder because I wish to be like them.

Future..Future.. and Future... then DREAM...

I still remember my diploma and degree graduation, I didn’t even keep the graduation photo, and that my parents have always grumbling about it. I never feel excited about my degree graduation. I didn’t even attend my Diploma Graduation though! I do not feel satisfied, not because of my result (I got distinction in diploma I and merit for Diploma II and second class lower for my degree, I consider myself as more than average though!) I do not feel enough, and I do not feel right to celebrate now because my academic journey hasn’t yet ended, and when would that be! It will end when I got my DBA! I can ensure you that I will be hell satisfy and happy when I finally finished my DBA, and that will be a few years to come (gosh, I am starting to worry about it now, why am I always worry about thing that haven’t arrive in my eye-sight!) and, I hope I can share it with all my friends at that time……

Cracking UP for MBA...

This is my final semester in year one, and I will be receiving my graduate diploma (if I get through it!) Yes, I am cracking up now. I realize that I tend to act confidence but I feel my nerve cracking though. Thinking about my second year MBA, I have received many advices from my senior as well as my lecturer, they unanimously, claims that second year MBA is hard. It is not a honey moon because it was modulated by University of Southern Queensland, and that, 50% Assignment and 50% examination based, meanwhile, you are consider fail if you fail either one! Well, I have never been worried about study, exam or assignment, but, I am worried if I have enough time for my second year MBA. Anyway, let’s see how thing going to turn around this year!

Looking AROUND...

Office politic affects efficiency of the company, and it always does! I was advise not to join Education field in such a young age, due to my aggressiveness from my past experience in my previous job, I caught my friends in surprise by joining the Education field, as they perceive education industry is a bit laid back.

I never regret in making my choice, and I like my superior who cares so much about me. Kit and Stephen have always been there to help me. But, due to strong political affair in my office, I must retreat.

I condemn office politic because it affects the efficiency of an organization, usually, the leader must try to foster the team work culture, however, I must say they fail to do so, and in fact, I think they do not even realize that, “political virus” is penetrating the office, and it is deadly virus for any organization.

I have been known to be a strong survival in office politic, but, in this situation, I must retreat. I remember once I was told, you can work 100% in office, but in a political office environment, you have to work 100%, plus another 100% (smart) to get yourself noticed! And certainly I will receive a lot of red eyes!

I have a few mentors, which I respect so much; they taught me so much since I was 13 years old. They taught me about surviving skills in society, in office and in life. They taught me how to make choice, set my principle and how to make thing right at the right time, and what’s more, they always like to discuss about strategies (certainly not business strategies, but ancient war strategies, which makes me feel like an old man! gosh, it was so bored! ) I do not know the usefulness of the discussion though I had spent 6 years with them, but slowly, I found it to be most useful when you are in trouble. Meanwhile, they called this as extra knowledge and surviving skills. God! I miss them so much; I must pay them a visit when I am back! Another 2 weeks time…

PERSONAL Value...

Talking about cigarette again, it reminds me about personal value, I do not want to expect some misunderstand of who I am. I am a person, who can adapt to everyone, but I have my own principle and value, and I stick to it totally.

I remember my conversation with my ex-colleague. She told me that it is not necessary to do what people want you to do, such as if you are entertaining your client, and your client is a drinker. You do not need to drink with them if you do not like drinking! What if they go for prostitution, would you follow them just to please them and get the account?

My explanation to her is quite simple, I believe every one has its market value, and though, everyone has their own personal value too. The strength of the personal value varies accordingly to their personal perceived moral value.

As for me, I am willing to drink, and I am willing to smoke with my client, but certainly not prostitution (since it is illegal), thus, I can do anything, but must be morally acceptable and legal in sense.

Here again, I believe everyone must have a clear direction of what they want to be in future, and yet, you must set your personal objective together with your perceived value and how far are you willing to let go! This is to ensure that you make no mistake in achieving your dream!

Very often, my friends told me they would like to earn a lot, and lot of money, and willing to do anything for it, and yet, their personal, moral value is low, because they involve in illegal activity such as selling VCD, Hand phone (Water!), evade tax (sometimes), bookie and many more! I realize that those trading can earn you lot of money, and I was once offered to be part of the team, and lucky enough I pretty rational in making my choice! I believe in putting my own effort, and I do not believe in fast money!

Sincerity..RESPECT in FRIendship...

I make new friends out of sincerity and respect, even in internet; I have never expected anything in return but just friendship. But, sometimes, I get misunderstand by some friends of being too nice.

I do not know if I am correct in the sense of my principle. Whenever I meet someone, I tend to take the few minutes of pondering, before I start to adapt myself. I will guess what they like and try to match their expectation. I always believe in doing what my friend likes to do, will certainly earn their trust and foster a better and long term friendship, but must morally right.

I spoken to one of my friends who I haven’t meet for years in MSN, after sometime of chatting; she expressed her dissatisfaction over my character, which I suppose to be serious but turn into a frivolous chatting most often. She said she though I am serious guy when we first chat in MSN. (Please do not misunderstand, I mean serious in the sense of not making assumption too much) She said that I like to flatter at which I never though I am! Anyway, perhaps, we haven’t been meeting for sometimes. I thought, at her young age, she might like a friend that can think at her age, I do not realize that she is such a mature lady though; sometime I might crack a few jokes just to lighten up, and certainly not those stupid adult jokes!

But something that can tell you, I always chat sincerely and with respect, I come in peace and with no intention! I do flattering sometimes, but not flirt at least. And If I compliment on certain thing, I compliment it with my heartfelt sincerity, and I never lie. If I said you got a good smile, you certain do, I won’t say something you don’t have. I would just tell you straight if you do not look good (that explain why some people out there do not like me! But please forgive me, I am in the transition period since I joined PR line, I know how to talk in nice way, at least turn you around the bush before bringing you back to right track!) But please do talk to me if you are irritated with what I say or do, sometimes!

CLUBBING...LOL...

I must say, I really enjoy myself tonight; it has been quite sometimes of laying back. My colleague, Sim asked me out to Thai Club, (initially, they said Cowboy Club, and I was like “huh”, I have never hear about the name around the areas, and eventually, I found out that it is actually Thai Club! Man!) I reluctantly turn it down, I fell in a dilemma where, at the same time feeling tired, but also wish to join them.

I went shopping in Sungai Wang, it was around 9 pm, I gave him a call, asking if he would like to hang around before going out clubbing, he said he is on his way out. Well, I ponder for a while, since I am already in Sungai Wang, What the hell, why don’t just join them, and OK! I ask him to pick me up then. I wait for almost an hour, and usually, if I were given much time to think, I would really change my mind in last minute, so much I want to call him and say, “hey, bro, I think I am pulling out”. But at last, I didn’t.

We went to Thai Club, and I have the pleasure to meet Cat and Vivian, Both of them are friends of my colleague, Lilian. I must say, I always have fun going out with Sim (you are the man!) Perhaps, I consider myself as too old and feeling great to be able to join someone who feel so young! (Well, I admit, I feel damn OLD, and trying to be young)

Meanwhile, Thai Club as usual, had always been crowded after 12 pm, and yet, they still ushering those late comers up. We barely have our own space to dance, and eventually, we planed to move out. We went for second round; Vivian brought us up to “Cream” in Renaissance Hotel nearby. We continued to enjoy ourselves over there, and tell you what, I like that place, “Cream” appeared to be quite new, I believe, and it is clean probably due to the fantastic design and ambience! We dance our way till late at night and went back around 4pm. It was tiring but enjoying, and Vivian was drunk, Sim and Logas were drunk too. But they insisted that they are not DRUNK! (Come on, they are really drunk to claim not DRUNK!) Anyhow, they safely arrived home at least, I wasn’t drunk that night and, unbelievable, I realize that I can drink! But, I had to accept the brutal fact that I had a terrible headache and I can’t even sleep well that night. I wake up in the morning and vomit before I continue dreaming!

A few funny things happen that night, I was driving Vivian’s car and sent her back (Cat was in the car, planning to stay over with Vivian), Sim was at the back following me so that I can hop into his car later. I was worried that I might speed to fast, and reminded Cat to look over me, to remind me if I speed up.

I did my part though, because I kept asking her if I was speeding too fast, I didn’t really look at the meter though, and Cat was like “no, you are not speeding”. Who knows Sim can not catch up with me, and what’s worse is that, Cat was drunk by that time (yeah, we only realize that when we met up the next day). I gave Cat my blazer because I am worried she might catch flu later, as she appeared to be cold. And upon arriving, my blazer was passed on the Vivian. I think Vivian had a short term memory lost after drinking. I took the courtesy to SMS her in the morning, and she replied “Are you Steven?” she asked because she saw my blazer had my name on it, and she don’t even realize that I am Steven. I do not know that she is so drunk! Anyway, that night, I was having a terrible headache that I don’t even realize until I jump into Sim’s car. And, they though I am drunk!

Skepticalllll...

I am skeptical about relationship now and then, and I keep telling girl that I am not what they are looking, and that I am not a dream guy. What happen to me? I wonder, I have never been so lame. I still remember my first love during my secondary school. I was advice and encouraged going after whatever that I feel right and LIKE. And from there, I brushed up my confidence, after seven different relationships with girls at a different time (need to make it clear!) (and yes, since form one, till three and half years ago), I started to feel tired of relationship, some of my pals even picking on me as becoming gays, just to force me going! Well, I don’t know what has happen to me, I am just afraid of losing out, and I don’t mind if you want to call me pussy or what so ever, but I am really tired of all that, perhaps, I need some more time to get myself back to the rail!

Healthy.....LIFESTYLE...

I always believe in adopting a healthy lifestyle, though, I smoke sometimes for certain reason (entertainment) (I do whatever people do, as long as it is not illegal! I call this adaptive). Talking about cigarette, I do not condemn smoker but to advise them to smoke less. As for me, I have insisted myself to give it up two months ago, and yes, I did, but occasionally, I still smoke as in “occasionally”.

Sometimes, I just can not stop smoking totally, not because of the “virus” in me, but of other people, half of my friends smoking, although, I seldom hang around with them, but whenever we go out clubbing or hang around in Star buck, I have to make myself smoke again. Certainly, Not because I afraid of being their laughter, but I do not want them to feel bad, What would you feel if you are doing something that your friends do not like or not enjoying to do so! If you care about your friends very much, you will probably give it out. However, it is very difficult from my part to expect so; I rather join them since I do not do it all the time. And certainly, they will ask me out again in future, because they feel my existence in their group.

OutLOOK...

I do not know why, but, to find myself quite concern about my outlook, and to give a perfect first impression to those I meet. I have always been into sport, to get myself sweat. This is the only way to keep myself active and in shape. And, I always believe that, to succeed in any field of your expertise, it is not just about your knowledge that counts, but also your health. You need to be healthy in order to strive better.

WhAT's WRONG with my LIFE...

I was so blur! Perhaps, my life has been too hectic. A week ago, I went to a mini market around my residential area, intended to buy a bottle of body shampoo. I looked around and picked up a brand, with hurry; I paid at the counter and went back. What happen next is, I found out in my bathroom that it is a “liquid hands wash”! (Fortunately, I realize right away, at least, not after a week of using!) Can somebody tell me what is going on in my life?

That is not the end of the story, I went to a Chinese herb shop today, intends to buy a bottle of hair shampoo, and so happen that I pick a brand. I thought that is the brand that I am looking for, and I paid at the counter without much thought. I arrived home and planned to take a nice bath after the long working day, and “gosh!” I thought the shampoo is actually out-dated because it produces no foam,I thought I miss-bought “liquid hand-wash” again, but, fortune enough, I get it quite correct this time, I BOUGHT A CONDITIONER INSTEAD OF HAIR SHAMPOO! (At least, it means for hair!) And again, can somebody tell me what is going on with my life! I can not even get it right, between body shampoo and liquid hand-wash, and which one is hair shampoo or hair conditioner! I think I need therapy!

WhaT a MaN...

I had a rehearsal in Eastin Hotel, Damansara in the afternoon; it is about an event with disabled person. Meanwhile, I bump into a business man at his forties, I assume, talking in his phone. “Hello, I am Mr.XX, calling from Kota Baharu”, he said softly. Perhaps, the phone operator can not comprehend his language and asked again, the business man then shouted in the phone, “I am calling from “Kota Bharu”!” As you can see, we are obviously in Damansara, Petaling Jaya. I bet he is drunk!

PERsonality TEst...

I had supper with my colleague and a friend on mine at Steven’s corner tonight, we were chatting, and brought up the topic about personality test and so far. She related her experience in her club in University that her superior likes to use questioning during interview to gauge personality of the interviewee. We had a little argument over the topic. As far as my own concern, I do not believe in personality test, though, sometimes it proved to be quite accurate, relating my personality. Yes, I did personality test before, and the result does not please me. I would say, human-being like to blame external factor when committed mistake.

It reminds me about psychometric test, adopted by some company to test the interviewee’s personality before he/she actually recruited. I do not condemn personality test, but, I believe company should have a set of written personality specification. For example, company will not employ staff that are dishonest, crafty or politician.

The reason of Psychometric test is to match the right people with right job, nevertheless, it has it flaw though. If psychometric test is widely implemented, employee is unable to change their field of expertise, if by chance, they would like to learn or experience new field! If I am in P.R for years, and would like to work under Sales, I might not be recruited anyway.

It kills the leaning process, and what’s more, it inflicts human-right! We lost our privacy. How on earth we allow other to know our personality!

Our conversation carries on until she told me about my personality as best describe as “Sanguinian”. You may wonder what Sanguinian is. If you flip through dictionary, you will find Sangunian means a person with striking personality, best equip with out-spoken and extrovert character, at which I believe I hate the most! (And yes, apparently, I realize that I actually hate myself!) It moulds me into someone that I do not want to be, and I feel faked (as I always do!).

Internet Plafform..stupid ler...

Perhaps, I was not properly understood by some of my friends, or those who has just known me. I always embrace the attitude of knowing more friends, even in my daily life meet-up or internet chatting without much intention. I always believe every human being look alike. Sometime I was being misunderstood as those Internet freak or jerk that goes around hunting for food, and keep inviting internet friend for an outing!

Well, I only ask my friend out for coffee because I like coffee, and I always go for a cup of coffee alone with my “baby” – Laptop. I do not mind if anyone can join me and have a nice chat! Unfortunately, they would perceive me as those “brain-dead” net friends that mean for nothing!

Anyhow, Many of those internet friend do not like to meet up with people due to the following reason; they are too shy to talk (I really condemn that as I wonder how on earth are they going to work for the society if you feel shy to talk!), secondly, they only want to cling to their group of friend and do not bother of knowing more (that is very stupid to confine yourself, I always ask myself, if I can hit 100, why should I go for 80!If I was given chance to know somebody, why should I confine myself then, regardless of how she/he look like, as long as he / she behave well!)

Seed and Human....!!!

Relationship is supposed to be unique, passion and aesthetic! Once I remember, from an elder friend of mine. He conscientiously link relationship to “seed” that practically help us to understand the fundamental behavior of male and female toward preliminary stage of relationship.

“Male and Female like to scatter the “seed of passion” around, and they will wait for the seed to grow, eventually, they will choose the best out of it. I do not deny that selfishness does constitute part of human behavior.” He said.

I would believe he is right in some point, and I would like to further emphasize that as long as we have our own principle, ensure that human emotion is not a victim of our action in relationship, and it, still alright.

Almost Get KILLed..!

Gas leaking can kill! I was lucky to wake up early today. When I walk down the ground floor, and found my stupid cooking gas leaking, with the gas already filled up the whole house. I rush open all the doors and windows to have the air circulated, and clean it out. I wouldn’t be here, if I did not wake up that early. That remind me about Tsunami whereby it struck without any indication!

Acquiantance....!!!!

Hanging out with friends is always a pleasure in life. I struck up an acquaintance with Kitty, and at the same time, met-up with Geraline that I haven’t seen for more than 3 months. Also, do not forget about my pal, Sim – de blusher (He’s going to kill me if he realizes I gave him such an astounding and sensational nick!). I must say, I enjoy that night more than ever.

Upon arriving home, I ponder, is relationship so important to human-being? I can not possibly find the answer even with my head cracking. Relationship somehow has to do with “Love”, and Love has to do with “like”, and eventually it has to do with “friendship”. I would call this as “relationship stages” that you need to go through, something like the level of education you went through since kindergarten!

My Philosophy..Strength..weakNESS...

Personal Philosophy

-Hard-working

I believe in hard- work and work as smart as you are able to. When you are able to sacrifice your time for something; eventually, you will receive recognition from what you have sacrifice, and finally lead to wealth. Wealth can come in the form of increment, promotion and etc.

- My Strength

-Self disciplined decision maker

-Dedicated employee

-People oriented

-Outstanding leadership qualities

-Extrovert & Gregarious

-Excellent Communication Skill

-Ability to Work under Pressure

-Sense of commitment & responsibility

-Ability to Work with Minimum Supervision

-High Adaptability to working environment

Weaknesses

-Highly Ambitious

Sometimes, it may not be good to be ambitious. I always like to set myself a target that difficult to achieve because only then I believe, I have to push myself to the limit. Sarcastically, I always fail to achieve what I set but at least, I hit the second grade, still! I will get low for a few days, and evaluate my mistake, and find out the reason why I can not achieve my “dream” target.

-Stubborn

Whenever I suggest a good idea, I tend to stick to it unless I was convinced that my idea isn’t good enough. Very often, management will just kill off my idea without proper explanation. I get frustrated very easily.

-Soft-Hearted

When I was required to be assertive, I tend to be soft-hearted because I always take into account other’s feeling. However, I am improving on my leadership skill from time to time, and keep reminding myself that I need to be assertive to get thing done in time.

-Strongly dislike protocol and red tap in organization that ruin efficiency

I do not prefer protocols to be set tight but I have to I will follow with much dislike. I always try to fight against protocols that kill off the efficiency of employee. I like thing to be done fast, and I want to see everything run smoothly without any delay. And, very often, protocols lead to delay, especially in P.R lines.

-Impulsive

I tend to be impulsive especially when I was blame for thing that I did not do. I have tried to always remind myself to calm down. Thus, I believe I can change my weakness into strength.

-Easily de-motivated

I can take advice from other, some usually advise come with criticism. Thus, I tend to get de-motivated easily. I am a person with high-self-consciousness. Thus, if I happen to be de-motivated, I will need one or two day to retrospect, and improve myself. I believe this is my weaknesses because it affect my passion in what I am doing, thus I need to remind myself all the time, that I can not be influenced by what other had said.

Finally..my PERSONAL Objectives....

Money-In our world, money is a must. The amount of money that you need depends on what you want and how much you believe you are worth. I see money as a tool that enables me to function freely within my world and accomplish my dream – and I have some pretty big dreams! So I want enough money to make me financially free.Undoubtedly, money can not buy or guarantee me happiness. I also know that not having money doesn’t guarantee me happiness either! Thus, I do what I love to do and because I believe it’s of value to others. If what we do is of value, then we can expect and accept abundance in return.

Creativity- I love bringing things into existence that weren’t there before. Creativity is my key to personal growth and empowering others. It’s my vehicle of self-expression, of putting who I am and what I do out into the world.

Acknowledgement-I believe in working hard, and getting what we deserve to receive. I fight for acknowledgement from my superior, friends and others.

Integrity and trust- Integrity, loyalty, friendships come under the heading of trust for me. I want to trust people because I want people to trust me. I only want to be in relationships where everyone is trusting of each other.

Contribution- I believe in making contribution for who I work for, without making contribution, you will never receive appreciation from others. And, contribution is a measurement of how much I worth for.

Dare to dream- we must be dare to dream because only dream can drive human toward making great achievement!

Catching Up...!

I was quite happy today, at least, I am able to meet up with my classmates in Sri Hartamas and have a nice chat. They just came back from United Kingdom, graduating with a degree in accounting and now pursuing ACCA. I am always proud to have friends that can be so clear about their direction in life, and I like to be with them, at least, it gives me some “push” in doing what I want to do!

We all have the same perception that life is a learning process, and that we should not stop learning, one day if you find yourself losing interest in what you do, I would say, it is time for you to retire from your job!

Once I watch a movie, featuring a lawyer giving lecture to the practitioners. I can remember neither the movie title nor the actor, but I can still remember vividly what he had said. “One day when you wake up in the morning, and look at the mirror, if you find your job super-bored, I would advise you to retire, because you are not a lawyer anymore!” he said to those practitioners. You need to love what you do, only then you find your job challenging, and it is a long-lasting one.

Student LIFE Again...!

Finally, I went back to my study life again after two weeks of holiday! I find waves of pressure, like water pouring down from my head to toe!

I was being characterize as “Smart” by some of my classmate because of de-stress and out-spoken outlook, but, truthfully, I feel stressful inside of me.

Perhaps, I am PR that born to make people happy. I wish I can be someone that able to act according to feeling and emotion. Sometimes, I feel myself too fake to be myself!

Or perhaps I have wont to make people happy, and find it difficult to adjust now.

Just LIKE Superman someTimes...

You tend to see Hero or Heroes only when you have problem, and you tend to see well-wishers only when there is a disaster?

Undoubtedly, there are many people who need help, such as those orphanages, old folk’s homes and many more, who run without public support. Their life can be better if we are willing to contribute, but, many do not see the importance in it. When human-being are approached for donation, they tend to shun away. Meanwhile, When Tsunami struck, you tend to see them donate thousand of dollar for the victim. I do not mean to be causticity, but it is a fact that worth our observation. Those who never even want to care about the needy around them tend to donate thousand of dollar and appear in newspaper!

If it is for the sake of publicity, I would rather feel ashamed for them because their donation just not out of sincerity. However, there are those who donate out of sympathy deserve our recognition and respect. Hopefully, in future, they would also show their concern to those needy around them.

Meanwhile, I find it even more sarcastic, when the rich is willing to spend their fortune for a huge mansion and sport car but not even willing to contribute a cent of two for the needy. I wonder why human characters are shape in such way…

Fell DOWN the Staircase...Embarassing..!!

I was walking in the walkway in my office, and waved to one of my students, without realizing that there is a “Spiral Staircase” in from of me. I tripped over and fell down, Luckily, I can still stand up, I wonder what would happen if I “ROLL” down!

I feel so embarrassing, but then, “so what!” everyone experiences fall down before, why I should bother so much! (Apparently, I was trying to comfort myself though! I was waving to a student that kind of caught my attention, you know!..gosh...)

I still feel the pain down my knee…..

First Lunch...Late DINNER..2005...

After I had my very first lunch for year 2005, I left rushing for another appointment with a friend of mine in Sungai Wang, we had dinner and window shopping in Sungai Wang until we came across a photo machine, and that, you have to pay a little as 24 buck for a few snaps. I was pulled in by her youthful and joyful gesture.

In fact, she is a cute little girl that always believes she’s an old lady now, believe it or not, she isn’t old! I like her a lot, but sometimes I couldn’t figure out though, what’s in her mind (How much I wish to understand!).

We went down to basement together, and there was a group of Rascal I would presume, came in together with us and they were fooling around in the elevator, with us standing at another side of the corner in the elevator. I was beset with worry that she might be hurt or flirted, that I move a step forward with my back a bit slanted against them, at least, block the stupid scene of those guy fooling around!

An uncommon, unusual, soft of feeling surging inside of me, I wonder, why am I feel so worry, perhaps, she is too vulnerable……

CIVICism..02...

Another escapade I came across today, I’ve done with my jogging, and on my way back. There was a motor bike; cruising fast enough to challenge the angel of death, threw a pack of rubbish to the road side. Basically, the area where the package landed was not a rubbish dump! It was just another pedestrian walk-way! That guy was lucky, if he was trying to throw to my side of lane, I will certain pull him down from the bike, and kicked his ass!

A little DIFFerent...

A little different today in Jaya Jusco Starbuck, though, without wire5 connection here, it does create some different, because I can’t do my internet surfing as usual!

I am here again, to meet up with another internet friend, who happens to be a Gemini! I wonder sometimes, why am I am obsessed with Gemini; probably I am a Gemini who wishes to meet someone that share the similar interest as I do!

However, the brutal fact does reveal that Gemini sometimes does not share the similar nature, but, there’s the least similarity, is that they tend to be very friendly. I find Gemini as I do, appear to be amiable!

I never believe in horoscope, since, nether statistical observation nor proven record to relate the accuracy of horoscope in our daily life!

But, I do believe that the ubiquitous of Horoscope, and the prevalent and domination of Horoscope belief seems to be part of our life now, thus, it is harmless to read a little of two about Horoscope, as the enlightenment in our life.

Like or LOVE....

I wonder why couple usually confuse between “loves” and “Like”, if you believe love is a black magic, then you should be more careful next time before you click with anyone you like, instead, you should choose those you really love, not like! If you do not believe in black magic, then it is time for you to believe in it! You can like anything but you can not love more than a thing because love is supposed to be very passionate and aesthetic.

Very often, we tend to be carried away by our emotion at the moment, and make a wrong decision, and later we tend to confuse if we love him/her. What is worse, when you tend to regret breaking up with your previous boyfriend / girlfriend!

This has been a norm in urban relationship, though, we can not figure out why is it happening here and then, without any solution to the problem. Is love a black magic? And, you tend to regret after you wake-up / being released from the black magic? Lastly, is it too late for couple to say no? The thought goes on……